I always imagined I would meet my husband in real life, most likely at university. I really expected it to go something like this: I would walk in on my very first day, drop a book, and out of nowhere my dream guy will pick it up for me. We lock eyes (but then he quickly lowers his gaze because he’s on his deen), and after that we somehow fall in love and get married… Safe to say I was in complete shock when I walked into university and not a single guy fell in love with me on the first day. The audacity.
But in all seriousness, being in a girl-only school for seven years meant I had limited knowledge of men. My main source came from films and TV shows which had filled my head with all these unrealistic fantasies of romance and marriage. I was a hopeless romantic, and I couldn't wait to meet my husband in the most romantic way possible.
The reality of how tough it is to find a husband hit me hard. It’s difficult living in a western society and trying to find someone who is actually serious about marriage, especially at the age of 20. And then there are lots of other factors to consider, such as their height, sense of humour, cooking skills… only joking (about height, the other 2 are important), but it was largely about whether I could connect with that person, especially in terms of our outlook on Islam.
What made it harder was the fact that my own parents didn’t think I was ready for marriage, and they also didn’t know of anyone suitable to introduce me to. I never thought I would end up using an app to find my partner, but when I heard my older brother talking to his friends about muzmatch, I thought, “Why not? I have nothing to lose” and downloaded the app.
And then I deleted it right after.
I seemed to go through a cycle where I would install the app, fill out the sign-up page, and delete it straight away. Honestly, I was scared. I had no idea what to expect, who I would find on there, if the men on there would be a lot stricter than me…but most importantly, what happens if I see someone I know?! Well, I can tell you now, there are no words to describe that feeling of absolute disgust when you’re swiping through profiles and you find your own brother on there. That was a straight block.
Once I got past that obstacle, I actually had a lot of fun on muzmatch. Not only was it a huge ego boost seeing all those likes on my profile, but I got into contact with a lot of different guys that I would have never had the opportunity to meet otherwise. My pool of suitable potentials had suddenly increased.
But even with this larger pool of potentials, I still struggled to find my man. I would go through phases where I would start talking to a guy, take it to WhatsApp, meet up with them, deactivate my account for months, and then reactivate once that didn’t work out. There were so many failed talking stages I really had started to think that Allah had written for me to be single forever.
Until one day...
I reactivated my account and matched with a guy who had downloaded the app that very day. He sent me a message. At first I was thinking of not replying as I was so tired of getting my hopes up, only for them to be crushed (also his opening message was not that great). But the next day I decided to give him a chance, and I'm glad I did because we connected straight away.
He turned out to be very funny and sweet, and within a few days of talking we decided to meet up. Although I quickly noticed he had lied about his height (except he actually believed he was over 6 foot, so I guess it was not a complete lie), I found him to be very trustworthy and charming. He ticked all the boxes on my checklist, and I know it sounds crazy, but right after this first meeting I knew he would be the man I marry. I could see us building a future together and him as the father of my children.
After that first meeting everything seemed to fall into place so easily, with the timing seeming to be right for the both of us. A year later we completed our Nikkah Alhumdulillah. It just goes to show that when you are patient and put your trust in Allah, things work out at the perfect time. It may not have been the most romantic way to meet... but I would rather have the perfect husband than the perfect "how we met" story.
If anyone like me is debating whether to download the app or not, or has downloaded it but is losing hope, I will say this, you never know when the right person will be on the app at the same time as you. If Allah has written for you to meet, you will. Just be patient, as this app could be the very thing that changes your life, as it did mine.
“…But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners.” - Surah al Anfal, Ayah 30
Found success on muzmatch? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org