This is part 2 of a muzmatch members guide on how to find someone using muzmatch, based on his own experiences. For part 1 tap here
Getting to know someone is the most important part of the process, there are certain questions you can ask to help you gauge into someone’s personality. Lets split these into stages:
To help identify a person’s nature at an early stage.
Introduction to his/her environment.
Evaluate their agenda for ‘Nikah’
Now, if you’re on a phone call and you’re sharing a household with many other family members to avoid being disturbed:
Usually from the answers, tone and mannerism, you may be able to decipher whether you wish to continue further. Be respectful if saying no, as this person will wish to continue their search too.
Whilst conversing, please be aware that we are all humans and learn to recognise each other’s genuine mistakes and apologise. Unacceptable behaviour and abuse should not be tolerated as it could be detrimental later in a marriage.
Being unable to determine their body language whilst not being in the same room, an offensive tone may be an early warning. Hurtful words can be a red flag of one or more of below (un-Islamic behaviour):
Fraudulent online scams - asking to transfer money into their account whilst living/travelling abroad (make sure to say NO to this)
Showing extreme controlling nature from the onset and very persuasive against your will.
Constant abusive language and anger towards you without any reasonable excuse.
Criminal conviction (physical violence/robbery/fraud), the information found online.
Addiction to drugs, drinking and gambling.
The photo doesn’t match with their name (Catfishing), Google reverse image search or TinEye (if this does happen, make sure to report them to the muzmatch community team to avoid any harm coming to other members too).
Inappropriate demands of photos.
You should block them and report their username to the community team (email@example.com) with reasonable evidence (including screenshots). muzmatch offers chaperone/moderator’s presence in all your conversations. May the Almighty safeguard from all kinds of fitnah. Hence, why we pray for guidance and protection always.
Now, onto the questions...
Remember you will spend the rest of your life with this person. Does he/she have a personality that compliments you and vice versa? If all the answers above are positive, then move to 2nd Stage…
You want him/her to be the closest friend you’ve ever had, to bring the best out in you and vice versa and not to be treading on eggshells all the time! If all the answers above are positive, then move to the 3rd Stage.
Always strive to please Allah (SWT) If you’re satisfied with all of the answers above, I would recommend you seek guidance from your local Imam, or someone knowledgeable, before making arrangements to meet in person
Online platforms seem to be appropriate for many things with the current situation. A brief video call may be necessary, to verify the person’s identity, which is a feature on muzmatch.
May Allah (SWT) help those brothers and sisters who are looking to get married. May He reward their good intentions.
“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them” (Quran 2:187)
I would like to take this opporunity to thank all the readers in taking their precious time in reading this article. Please forgive me for any mistakes in my writing. I pray you and your family are always protected from any illnesses and evil. Give us all the guidance to understand each other and unite upon justice. Ameen