Halal Dating 101: Getting to know your muzmatch

3 December

Your palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s sweat stains on your shirt already. You’re nervous. You’re not listening to an Eminem rap… No, you’re getting ready for your first muzmatch date. An exciting, yet daunting thought. You want it to go perfectly and make an amazing first impression. Don’t worry, we are here to help. This blog will be your knight in shining armour as we help guide you on all things first dates!

The Motive

The date motive is so important in ensuring you have the best time possible. You need to choose something that you and your match will both enjoy, but will also allow you to relax as you get to know each other.

Perhaps an activity that will allow your fun, competitive side to come is the perfect solution, such as mini golf, or a board game cafe.

Fallin’ down
Photo by Karla Rivera / Unsplash

I know restaurants and cafes are usually people’s go to date spots- but a first date can be daunting, and having an activity gives you things to talk about and helps you avoid awkward dates

Another perk of not having a restaurant date is that it’s a lot easier to leave. Sometimes, unfortunately, you may not like your match or feel safe around them, but if you’re having a three course meal you may feel like you have to stay. Choose a short but sweet activity, something that doesn’t take up too much of your time, and if you guys hit it off, then great, go ahead and get that 3 course meal!

Dealing with those nerves

Nerves suck am I right? You could literally be such a funny, amazing person, but one bout of nerves and you're turned into a whole different person!

Here are some steps to overcome this:

1) Affirmations and self- talk

Never underestimate the power of the brain, but more importantly the power you have over it- before your date you need to repeatedly tell yourself how great you are, and remind yourself of your qualities, so you can really shine on your date (but not so your ego gets out of hand)

Let Peace Fill Your Body
Photo by Sage Friedman / Unsplash

2) Pre Date De-Stressing

Make sure you take some time out before your date to just relax and have some “me time”. Indulge yourself in some of your favourite guilty pleasure activities, like eating comfort food or doing some therapeutic shopping. Do something that’ll take your mind off the date.

Photo by Erik Mclean / Unsplash

3) Remember that Allah is with you

Allah is always with you, and he’s already written out everything for you, if your date goes badly and you never see them again, it was written, no need to stress, Allah will alway send you something better!

Photo by Rumman Amin / Unsplash

Making the best first impression

It’s so easy to get nervous and constantly sit there wondering what your date is thinking about you? But guess what, they’re probably wondering the exact same thing. Relationship coach Wahjeeha Amin says that you need to completely focus on your date and give them your full attention. Ask them questions about themselves, let them know you’re interested!

Laughing by the tracks
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash

This will leave both you and your date feeling a lot happier. Psychological studies actually find that men and women feel a lot happier when the woman was able to speak freely about herself during the date, while the man was able to maintain active conversation. Basically, communication  and showing that you’re interested is the key to making a great first impression.

What if I’m in a long distance relationship?

Everyone always says long distance relationships are hard, and that they don’t last. They’re hard, that's definitely true, but by no means are they impossible. Infact, so many of our success couples are long distance couples that have managed to make it work. One couple didn’t even meet before marriage- they had their Nikkah over skype, and then met. But they’re now happily married with a baby Mashallah

So how exactly do these couples make it work? Here are just a few tips:

1) Communicate

Make sure to always have a regular line of communication. Not being able to see each other in person is difficult and may make you feel distant, which is why it’s so important to communicate regularly: text, call, even send voice notes. Have some romantic nights where you set up a virtual dinner date, get dressed up, light some candles and enjoy each other's company. Whether it’s a long or short distance relationship, communication is always key.

2) Keep things Fresh

Having to talk through the phone all the time can get a bit dull, and it may make you feel annoyed that you can’t do different activities together, but you can! You can watch shows together and discuss them online- Netflix Party is created just for this! You could also have an online book club and read and discuss stories together. It’s these small but different things that keep you engaged.

Photo by freestocks / Unsplash

3) Send Gifts and Letters

Something couples in long distance relationships can do that has a lot more meaning and romance is send letters and gifts through posts, it’s an excitement and joy that is indescribable, and it really shows the other person that you value them!

Photo by Debby Hudson / Unsplash

4) Make Plans for the Future

There is nothing more exciting than planning ahead for the future and when you can actually be together. It keeps the romance alive and also gives you hope.

man and woman holding a heart together
Photo by Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash

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