Your palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s sweat stains on your shirt already. You’re nervous. You’re not listening to an Eminem rap… No, you’re getting ready for your first muzmatch date. An exciting, yet daunting thought. You want it to go perfectly and make an amazing first impression. Don’t worry, we are here to help. This blog will be your knight in shining armour as we help guide you on all things first dates!
The date motive is so important in ensuring you have the best time possible. You need to choose something that you and your match will both enjoy, but will also allow you to relax as you get to know each other.
Perhaps an activity that will allow your fun, competitive side to come is the perfect solution, such as mini golf, or a board game cafe. An added bonus is that these are all in openly public places.
I know restaurants and cafes are usually people’s go to date spots- but a first date can be daunting, and having an activity gives you things to talk about and helps you avoid awkward dates
Another perk of not having a restaurant date is that it’s a lot easier to leave. Sometimes, unfortunately, you may not like your match or feel safe around them, but if you’re having a three course meal you may feel like you have to stay. Choose a short but sweet activity, something that doesn’t take up too much of your time, and if you guys hit it off, then great, go ahead and get that 3 course meal!
Here are some steps to overcome this:
Never underestimate the power of the brain, but more importantly the power you have over it- before your date you need to repeatedly tell yourself how great you are, and remind yourself of your qualities, so you can really shine on your date (but not so your ego gets out of hand)
Make sure you take some time out before your date to just relax and have some “me time”. Indulge yourself in some of your favourite guilty pleasure activities, like eating comfort food or doing some therapeutic shopping. Do something that’ll take your mind off the date.
Allah is always with you, and he’s already written out everything for you, if your date goes badly and you never see them again, it was written, no need to stress, Allah will alway send you something better!
It’s so easy to get nervous and constantly sit there wondering what your date is thinking about you? But guess what, they’re probably wondering the exact same thing. Relationship coach Wahjeeha Amin says that you need to completely focus on your date and give them your full attention. Ask them questions about themselves, let them know you’re interested!
The Questions you ask on your very first date are super important, as they’ll be key in giving you some insight into what your dates intentions really are, and whether they’re actually worth your time.
You definitely don’t want to make it seem like an interview, but bring up questions within the conversation, such as what do they do, what are their family is like, when do they want to get married? etc. Remember to keep it polite and friendly, there’s no need for an interrogation.
Everyone always says long distance relationships are hard, and that they don’t last. They’re hard, that's definitely true, but by no means are they impossible. Infact, so many of our success couples are long distance couples that have managed to make it work. One couple didn’t even meet before marriage- they had their Nikkah over skype, and then met. But they’re now happily married with a baby Mashallah
Make sure to always have a regular line of communication. Not being able to see each other in person is difficult and may make you feel distant, which is why it’s so important to communicate regularly: text, call, even send voice notes. Have some romantic nights where you set up a virtual dinner date, get dressed up, light some candles and enjoy each other's company. Whether it’s a long or short distance relationship, communication is always key.
2) Keep things Fresh
Having to talk through the phone all the time can get a bit dull, and it may make you feel annoyed that you can’t do different activities together, but you can! You can watch shows together and discuss them online- Netflix Party is created just for this!
Another cute thing you could do is surprise each other with gifts, there’s nothing more exciting than receiving an unexpected gift in the mail… it’s definitely a great way to keep the romance alive.
3) Make Plans for the Future
Stay positive and plan ahead for the future! You’re going to be together soon inshallah, and planning ahead will bring that extra excitement to your relationship.
Speaking of planning for the future... Tap here to read our blog all about taking the next steps to marriage!