It's finally here! The agony aunt you never knew you needed 😉
The two aunties answering your questions today have an acclaimed wealth of knowledge on dating and muzmatch, as they have both been on the app. Found Love On muzmatch has, you guessed it, actually found love on muzmatch. While Kissed A Few Frogs has acquired a great amount of insight into red flags and relationship Dos and Don'ts from her own experiences of dealing with all the f***boys.
Disclaimer: Their responses are just their opinions, so follow it at your own risk!
I am a girl who is using the muzmatch app. My problem is that I’ll match with someone but then won’t like them when they unblur themselves. But I cannot unmatch or leave messages without reply, because I think it’s rude and it will break that person’s heart.
Should I tell the brutal truth and explain all the reasons for my rejection to be an honest and kind person?
My last question is that is it ethically okay to message with more than one guy at the same time? My mind says it’s okay but my heart says it’s not okay because it will hurt people’s feelings.
Aw, you’ve given me hope in humanity again! So many people in this generation are quick to unmatch and ghost, leaving behind so many broken hearts.
You’re completely right in that unmatching without a message first is really rude. But you also don’t have to feel bad. If you’re not feeling it, or you don't think that person is the right one for you physically then it’s better to let them go early rather than lead them on. This message doesn’t have to be in depth, no one needs to know your reasons. You can simply say something along the lines of ‘hey, I think you’re a great person and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I’m just not feeling a connection, I wish you all the best.’ If they don’t take it well then it says more about them than it does you don’t worry.
I think when it comes to speaking to multiple people at the same time, it’s a personal decision. Ethically speaking I think it’s fine ;) I personally don’t mind it because I find that I can become attached too quickly and so I'll get to know multiple people just so I’m not that hurt if it doesn’t work out with one of them. But from the sounds of it it doesn’t sound like something you’d enjoy doing. Sometimes it’s best to only chat to one person so that you don’t get confused about your feelings.
Honestly, you seem like such a lovely person, especially as I’ve heard so many stories where people get blocked or ghosted after they unblur their photos :( However at the same time, if you know you’re not interested in that person you don’t want to lead them on by continuing the conversation.
I would say a polite rejection is the best way forward, however maybe keep the conversation going for a bit after they reveal their photos so they don’t think it’s based on their looks. Rejections are definitely difficult, and the feeling is never nice, but they need to be done.
We don’t need to complicate it however, a simple example can be:
Hi ____. I’ve enjoyed talking to you for these past few days (or whatever time frame you have been talking for) but I just can’t see us together for the long term. We’re very different people. Good luck with the future and I really hope you find the perfect person for you.
In regards to talking to multiple people at once, don’t feel bad as everyone is doing it. The point of a dating app is to meet and talk to different people so you can find the perfect guy for you. But if you feel like you really like one guy in particular and want to see where things go, tell him and see what he says, maybe then you can become exclusive and take things to the next level.
If you have any questions or need any advice, feel free to drop us an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org