If you have recently been through a divorce and you are a Muslim of deep faith, you may have tried all you could to make your marriage work, for Prophet Muhammad espoused the importance of treating marriage as a blessed thing. The truth is that in countries like the United States, there is a divorce rate of close to 50% for all marriages, and 31.14% for Muslim marriages in particular. The rates vary from country to country, but some Muslim leaders have noted that divorce is on the rise, not only in specific races or ethnic backgrounds.
Reasons for divorce can include a fervent desire to protect children against growing up in a home in which fights and arguments are rife. Opting for a divorce is always a challenge because many parents can worry about the effects it can have on children. To sail through the process smoothly, commitment from both parents is key; this commitment is essentially one of the well-being of their child. When both parents are happy in their respective lives, it is easier to raise confident, happy kids who do not feel guilty for the break-up of the marriage.
Relying on Inspirational Verses
When you feel low, or you don’t understand how the marriage you thought would last forever has crumbled, rely on the Qur’an to bolster your spirits. One verse from Surah At-Talaaq says:
"And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” Qur’an | 65:3
The Prophet Muhammad (S) did speak against divorce, yet passages such as these remind Muslims that we are never alone, even during our toughest challenges.
Focusing on Children
The Qur’an states that husband and wife should consult each other fairly about their children’s future:
"Mothers may breastfeed their children two complete years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing [period]. Upon the father is the mothers’ provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable. No person is charged with more than his capacity. No mother should be harmed through her child, and no father through his child. And upon the [father’s] heir is [a duty] like that [of the father]. And if they both desire weaning through mutual consent from both of them and consultation, there is no blame upon either of them. And if you wish to have your children nursed by a substitute, there is no blame upon you as long as you give payment according to what is acceptable. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Seeing of what you do.” Qur’an | 2:233
It is important that differences be set aside so as to ensure that children’s material, physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met. The parent who has main custody of the children (unless custody is shared) should continue to raise the latter as agreed by both parents. This holds true when new stepfamilies are formed. Even if you remarry and your new spouse has children, the vital arrangements for your children made with your ex-spouse should be respected. You should also ensure that the norms you have already established in your home (e.g. bedtimes and routines) are followed by your new blended family for greater ease and practicality.
When divorce is new, adjusting to your new life without your spouse will surely take time. It is therefore key during this time to build a social circle, relying on friends and family to strengthen and bolster you when you most need it. Visit your mosque, take part in fundraising efforts, and be active in your local community. Research has shown that religious worship is the only group activity that results in sustained happiness. Worship in the company of others enables you to feel like part of something greater than yourself and allows you to feel accompanied during divorce and other tough times in life.
If you are undergoing a divorce after having tried to make your marriage work, take heart; all you can give is your best. Read passages from the Qur’an that will enrich and strengthen your faith, take part in worship, and give back to the community as a way to take the focus off yourself. Commit to a good relationship with your ex-spouse for the good of your children and to ensure that your separation means that there is more peace and stability in your new home.
Written by Jennifer Dawson for muzmatch
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Hey everyone, it’s Ayesha from My Big Fat Halal Blog (MBFHB)! MBFHB is one of the UK’s biggest halal food platforms where I share halal restaurant reviews, recipes and travel guides! You can find out more about what I do on my website or Instagram.
Today, I’m collaborating with muzmatch to share some of my top Ramadan recipes. We hope you try them out and we would love to see any of your recreations.
Here’s a simple recipe for this delicious, filling smoothie bowl packed with nutritious dates… the only dates you should be having this Ramadan! ;)
1 banana, plus extra slices to garnish
5 pitted medjool dates, plus extra, chopped, to garnish
250ml semi-skimmed milk
2 tsp cocoa powder
1⁄2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tbsp ground nuts, to decorate
Simply put all the ingredients in a blender, and whizz until smooth. Pour into a bowl, over ice, if you like, then arrange the nuts, extra banana and dates over the top to serve.
Let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be Ramadan without fried treats! Below is a recipe for my spicy, moreish potato cutlets. They’re always a hit with everyone!
750g Maris Piper potatoes, peeled and cut into large chunks
11⁄2 tbsp garam masala
2 tsp chilli powder
1 tbsp ground coriander
Handful of coriander, roughly chopped
2 tbsp plain flour
1 egg, lightly beaten
3 tbsp vegetable oil
Chutney/spicy salsa, to serve
1.Put the potatoes in a large pan and cover with water. Bring to the boil, then cook for 18-20 mins, until tender. Drain and set aside for 15-20 mins, until cool enough to handle.
2. Add the garam masala, chilli powder, ground coriander and fresh coriander to the potatoes. Season, then mash until smooth.
3. Wet your hands, then shape the mixture into 10 round patties, about 1cm thick.
4. Put the flour, egg and breadcrumbs onto separate plates, then dip each patty first in the flour, then the egg, then the breadcrumbs to coat.
5. Heat the oil to medium-high, then fry the patties in batches for 2-3 mins on each side, until golden brown. Drain on kitchen paper, then serve with a chutney/ spicy salsa for dipping.
A feast would not be complete without dessert! Try out this delicious Egyptian bread pudding known as Um Ali. It’s made with croissants, nuts and condensed milk and it’s absolutely delicious!
850ml semi-skimmed milk
1⁄2 x 397g can condensed milk
1⁄2 tsp ground cardamom
1⁄4 tsp ground cinnamon, plus extra to serve
1 tsp vanilla extract
100ml double cream
1 tsp unsalted butter
4 all butter croissants, roughly torn
2 tbsp desiccated coconut
2 tbsp flaked almonds
2 tbsp unsalted pistachios, chopped
2 tbsp seedless raisins
1. Preheat the oven to 180°C/fan 160°C/Gas 4.
2. Stir the milk, condensed milk, cardamom, cinnamon and vanilla extract together in a saucepan. Slowly bring to the boil and simmer gently for 2mins, stirring occasionally. Add the cream and carefully bring back to the boil, then remove from the heat.
3. Using the butter, grease a round baking dish, roughly 22cm in diameter and 5cm deep, and cover the base with half the croissant pieces.
4. Sprinkle over half each of the coconut, almonds, pistachios and raisins, then pour over the milk mixture.
5. Top with the remaining croissants, nuts and raisins, plus an extra pinch of cinnamon.
6. Bake in the oven for 20-25mins until golden and bubbling, then leave to stand for 10 mins before serving.
I hope you enjoy these recipes and will try them out! You can find more of my recipes at mybigfathalalblog.com.
My husband and I got married last week! I wanted to share our story with you. Jarred and I started talking earlier this year and had an instant connection.
Jarred is from Connecticut and I'm from Texas. He was in Arkansas for school and recently graduated and was interested in meeting someone so he downloaded muzmatch.
We started talking and realized how much we had in common and quickly became serious about each other. We complimented each another in so many ways: prioritizing our deen, family and wanting to make a positive difference in the world.
Jarred then drove to see me. After that, we were certain we wanted to get married and decided to have our nikkah before Ramadan. We've been married almost a month now and it's been a wonderful adventure!
We're so happy! Jazakallah khair for connecting us!
Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah and the muzmatch team!
I'm from Indonesia and my husband is from Germany, but he is Russian.
What a blessing it is to have a mixed raced marriage!
I knew my husband from muzmatch since May 2017 and then he visited Indonesia in November 2017. I didn't believe he was serious until he visited me and my family.
Months later, I flew to Germany and found work there because I wanted to be close to him.
I was in love.
Finally on 28 Dec 2018, we had our nikkah which fell on the last Jumu'ah of the month and in March 2019 we got officially married.
Thank you to the muzmatch team!