My Two Rupees of Advice When Finding Someone Online

I’m a single Muslim in my 30’s. Me and my friends are actively looking for partners, while my friends have been far more proactive and open to the whole online world, me personally, never really felt it was for me.

So let’s forward a few months and my friends were still single and still are I might add. They came out of the whole online world with very bad experiences. So I thought I would actually see why is online so hard, why can’t we meet decent people online.

So I finally took the jump and started creating online profiles on various websites. But I quickly came to realise that for all those claimed success there are way too many failures on the part of the creators of the sites/apps.

It’s a contrived situation, we all know that. And it really doesn’t help when people just don’t know what they are really looking for! When you throw in the word marriage no one wants to make a mistake, and understandably so. Having said that, people do then begin to ummm and ahhh about potentials. Criteria of the moment seems to be occupation (doctors on top), looks, height, what do they drive, their salary.

“if you look for perfection, you’ll never be content” L. Tolstey

My best rejection was being turned down because I misspelled something in my opening email, missed a comma, apparently! Was the person just being odd, maybe trying to get a power trip!! “welcome to online” I said!

With the intention of keeping this short, I’ll get into the problems I found. Honestly the list is not as long as I thought it would be, which is a good thing I guess. First problem – I could openly speak to 10+ people in one go!! How will that help!!? One person maybe be funny, another charismatic…etc At best I’m wasting 9 peoples time, but who should I pick? Maybe toss a coin? Roll a dice?

Secondly, people who are not genuine because the membership is free, I could be anyone, and in fact, I was able to change my occupation and age on all the sites, who is to know? One person even tried to ask me for money because they were abroad apparently, lost their phone, passport, no money but still managed to message me! Crazy!

Thirdly people looking for fun, as many articles have said before this, there are many places out there than can help satisfy these indulgences if one chooses them.

Fourth, and probably the most important, everyone maybe behind screens, but they are still people at the end of day. Rudeness has no place on here; yes the person may not be what you are looking for. But it really is quite simple to wish them best of luck, honestly it is! Yes they may respond rudely, but do two wrongs ever make a right? I met someone who had given up on finding a muslim partner, because of how they had been treated on the sites, don’t break someone’s confidence, to boost your own. It’s a tough enough process.

My final thought Is to leave you with a question, especially for all those people who are online, marriage surely is a bond of love, everyone you love, do you look at their height, their salary, what they drive!?

Look for good people, good potential mothers, good potential fathers, good in terms of actions. A person is not defined by what they say, but surely by what they do. Life is finite, everything that has a beginning has an end, use it wisely and live happily, make others happy if you can, but don’t upset them.

Take care all, and thank you to all those who helped me understand this black hole of online matrimonial sites.

By a keen muzmatch user

23 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

South African Match! #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Halima and I'm from Gauteng, South Africa and my husband (Arshad) is from Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa; we are both South African Indians.

He liked my profile on muzmatch on the 8th of April 2018 and on the 9th we started chatting and Alhamdulillah, today we are husband and wife.

We did our Nikah last month (March 9th 2019).

About a month before I joined muzmatch I remember speaking to my mother in the kitchen as we cooked supper and she had full confidence that I'd be getting married soon.

I told her that I felt that maybe I'm just not meant to get married and be happy, taking into consideration that I personally felt like one could never find a decent man whose intention is to make Nikah in this day and age.

My Moulana had recommended that I join Nikah/Muslim match-making groups and muzmatch populated amongst my searches, so I downloaded the app and registered. After a while I had lost hope so I deleted the app from my phone but did not deactivate my profile.

It was a Monday morning, I had woken up to get ready for work,

I checked my phone and I had an email notification from muzmatch which read "Arshad likes you".

I was quite surprised; I looked at his profile and his biography was quite captivating but it seemed so surreal - this was too good to be true.

Wintery iPhone Flat Lay Mock Up
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I used the link in his bio to view his Facebook profile, we had a mutual friend which was my cousin that also resides in Kwa-Zulu Natal, so I felt a bit more assured that this is definitely real considering that I had started to think that this could potentially be a catfish.

We started chatting that very morning and there was an instant click. It felt like we were long lost friends because of how well we understood each other and could complete each others sentences. We had the same interests and the same intention; we could speak for hours on end without running out of things to say.

We had realized that we are most definitely soulmates.

Within 2 weeks he called my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. In July 2018 (21st), I booked a flight to visit him and his mum for the day and after spending time together we knew that this was the right decision and that Allah SWT had created us for each other.

Photo by Ross Parmly / Unsplash

We then saw each other once again in August 2018 (25th - A surprise for my 21st birthday planned by him and my mum); and again in November 2018 when he flew up to attend my younger sister's wedding with his mum, younger sister and brother-in-law.

Slowly the long distance had become difficult, our younger sisters were both already married and settled and we started wondering when would we actually get married. In February this year he decided to relocate to Gauteng and found a temporary job.

His dad visited my parents and they decided to set a Nikah date, Alhamdulillah once the date was set everything fell into place by the will of Allah. He found a job as a PC Engineering lecturer and we were able to find our own place with our parents help and support.

Today I am happily married, living my dream with my husband and I have wonderful in-laws that love me as much as they love Arshad.

The most important quality I wanted in a husband was someone that could take my family as his own and Alhamdulillah I found that in Arshad.

We are now a huge happy family Alhamdulillah.

Jazak'Allah muzmatch! Arshad has found me due to the creation of this wonderful app (He always says that he found me, not the other way around).

I would advise everyone to put their trust and faith in Allah SWT, never give up hope that Allah SWT will send the one who is meant for you when the time is right - for Allah is the greatest of planners. May all the other individuals find their spouses through this app as well Insha'Allah.

Halima & Arshad

4 days ago

Egyptian Romance #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Yasmeen and I found my husband, Taymoor, on muzmatch on the last day of last ramadan. We were both divorced.

The first time we talked on muzmatch was in June and we got married one month later in August 2018. I always wanted to send our story to inspire others who are searching for a good husband and wife.  

We are both Egyptians, from Cairo, we even work & live very near to each others in New Cairo city. I am a digital marketing manager and Taymoor is an IT manager. I am 37 years old and he is 40.  

Influences of the past —
Stories, desire and a vivid imagination
attract people to this place.
Photo by Simon Matzinger / Unsplash

I have a daughter who is 12 years old, and I was searching for a real Muslim man who would be a good husband and father. Finally I found Taymoor, who is a good man and a good Muslim, he is very kind.

I am telling my friends that I found someone who really looks like me from the inside.  He was divorced and also has a kid, who is 5 years old. When we first chatted on muzmatch we spoke for over 6 hours, he was surprised much we got on, he even thought that this was a prank!

I couldn't believe that I finally found the man I was looking for. The first time we met, was after Eid al futr, in the House of Cocoa, as Taymoor knew that I loved chocolate. We talked about ourselves for over six hours, I did not want to leave and neither did he.

After we met I told my family and friends, and he did too. He and his family visited us and we got married in only two months, I never imagined that I would find my soulmate and marry him that fast.

I always wanted to find a man to trust and love, after being a single mom for years, I found out that my dream man was hard to find, but alhamdullah I found him on your app.  

Alhamdullah, we are very happy together, my daughter lives with us and his son visits us on the weekends. You cannot imagine how much I am now recommending muzmatch to all my friends.

It didn't even take me long to find my husband. I used the app for almost one month or less.

I am so happy alhamdullah now that I married a real muslim I always wanted.  

5 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

Close Call #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Sara and I just wanted to thank muzmatch and let you know that I finally got engaged on 24th December 2018 and found my Fiance - Ghazunfar on the App.  

We are really happy Alhamdulilah and just wanted to thank you for creating a platform for Muslims to find a suitable match for marriage!    

I believe it's a real blessing because initially we matched but we didn't talk as he hadn't read my messages and was not appearing online. After around 4 weeks, I unmatched however after some weeks I logged in and I came across his profile again. After some giving it some thought I decided to rematch and give it a try again.

The next day he replied to me and the is history.  Its been a almost a year since we matched on Muzmatch and we have set the Nikkah date which will be 1st March 2019 in Rawalpindi, Pakistan.  

Our families are very happy and we are looking forward to entering into the blessed union of marriage Insha'Allah. We just wanted to say keep up the good work, may Allah bless you and request that you keep us in prayers.  

One last thing to everyone using the  muzmatch App - please do not give up, there is someone out there for us all!  

5 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.



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