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Muslim Matchmaking Mishaps

This week’s guest blog has been designed and penned by the young Muslim creative, Nasima AKA Mooslemargh.

I asked the online Muslim community to tell me all their mishaps and misunderstandings as they venture out to find their lifelong partner.

1) The Eager Beaver

I was messaged by this guy who, after an exchange of ‘hello’s’, admitted that every time I replied to his messages, it made him closer to proposing to me.

When I told him that I didn’t want to get married anytime soon he replied, “You broke my heart. Why? I can be a good son-in-law to your mother”

He kept arguing about how much of a good husband he would be and eventually I just had to block him.

– bashharry

2) Desperado!

I can’t deal with family expectations of marriage. First they tell you to graduate and get a job. Once you’ve done that all they ever talk about is marriage and by the time you turn 26, they look at you as if you’ll end up forever alone.

Then there’s the desperate attempt to match you up with anyone they can get their hands on. After constant pushing from my family, I finally agreed to pass my details on to this guy.

What a waste of time, he never got in touch with me plus it made my self esteem drop a little.

– hascanah124

3) A family affair

I was sent a marriage CV that featured the guy’s entire family tree. I’m talking uncles, aunts, cousins… I was just like, seriously? My mates and I were in stitches.

– amani

4) Priorities, Amirite?

My parents were given a photo of this guy but it seems that they were far too interested with the car in the photo than him!

– anonymous

5) Aunty on a mission...

My family and I went to Pakistan to find my brother a rishta. We met an aunty who was hell-bent on insisting that her daughter was the perfect match. She talked about her in every conversation and claimed how everyone wanted to marry her.

The aunty went on and on about her daughter, even brought up pointless similarities: “Omg your son loves junk food? My daughter LOVES junk food too!! They are meant to be!”

My mum and I tried so hard not to laugh, it was so funny to watch.

– nasus

6. Snoop, dawg?

After rejecting a marriage proposal from this guy, he managed to find both my Facebook profiles and got his friend to send me a request on each (to which I promptly rejected).

I found it hilarious that he tried to snoop around as if I wouldn’t have figured it out, nice try though.

– smz

7) Tinder Sheikh

A friend of mine made a Tinder account for her class on feminist theory. The experiment was to find out how Muslim guys on the app reacted to profiles of Muslim girls.

She received so many matches from mainly non-Muslims but the Muslim guys who she did match with ended up lecturing her on why she shouldn’t be dating. Oh, the irony!

– anonymous

8) NO BARRELS ALLOWED

I signed up to this ‘hipster’ Muslim marriage site and there was a guy who had an essay of requirements. One of them was that he didn’t want a girl who wore hijab because he wanted to keep up appearances with his friends. I thought, OK, that’s your preference, I won’t judge.

But he then went on about how his wife must keep up her own appearance as he doesn’t like the way that “people start looking like barrels” after marriage. I thought it was so rude!

– Jas

9) Theater Crossed Lovers

My guy-friend at the time, who was also my crush, had asked if I’d go to the movies with him.

I was so nervous that, in an attempt to keep things ‘halal’, I decided to wrap my head in a loose scarf, even though I wasn’t a hijabi at the time.

Of course I rolled up to the theater 15 minutes late and the movie had already begun, but because I was wearing a hijab, my crush didn’t recognise me to call my over to where he was sitting.

We ended up watching the same movie in separate rows. Some first date that was!

– anonymous

10) Up Online To Get Lucky

I took the plunge and signed up to a Muslim marriage website. In my profile I wrote down the kind of person that I was interested in, including age. I put a little disclaimer at the top to ask any viewers to read my profile before messaging me as I find that some guys don’t bother and message you anyway in the hopes to get lucky.

One user wrote to me claiming that he read my profile, that he loved it and that he wanted to get to know me. He was too young as per my preferred age range.

I bluntly replied (gave my salaams first, of course), “you clearly didn’t read my profile, otherwise you would have noticed that you were too young for my liking”

He blocked me.

– anonymous

This article was written and illustrated by Mooslemargh ‘moos-leem-ah’ /  Nasima / IG @moosleemargh / #RepresentationMatters / moosleemargh@gmail.com

53 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

muzmatch x My Big Fat Halal Blog

Hey everyone, it’s Ayesha from My Big Fat Halal Blog (MBFHB)! MBFHB is one of the UK’s biggest halal food platforms where I share halal restaurant reviews, recipes and travel guides! You can find out more about what I do on my website or Instagram.

Today, I’m collaborating with muzmatch to share some of my top Ramadan recipes. We hope you try them out and we would love to see any of your recreations.

DATE SUHOOR SMOOTHIE BOWL:

Here’s a simple recipe for this delicious, filling smoothie bowl packed with nutritious dates… the only dates you should be having this Ramadan! ;)

Suhoor Smoothie Bowl

INGREDIENTS

1 banana, plus extra slices to garnish

5 pitted medjool dates, plus extra, chopped, to garnish

250ml semi-skimmed milk

2 tsp cocoa powder

1⁄2 tsp ground cinnamon

1 tbsp ground nuts, to decorate

METHOD

Simply put all the ingredients in a blender, and whizz until smooth. Pour into a bowl, over ice, if you like, then arrange the nuts, extra banana and dates over the top to serve.

POTATO CUTLETS:

Let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be Ramadan without fried treats! Below is a recipe for my spicy, moreish potato cutlets.  They’re always a hit with everyone!

Potato Cutlets

INGREDIENTS

750g Maris Piper potatoes, peeled and cut into large chunks

11⁄2 tbsp garam masala

2 tsp chilli powder

1 tbsp ground coriander

Handful of coriander, roughly chopped

2 tbsp plain flour

1 egg, lightly beaten

60g breadcrumbs

3 tbsp vegetable oil

Chutney/spicy salsa, to serve

METHOD

1.Put the potatoes in a large pan and cover with water. Bring to the boil, then cook for 18-20 mins, until tender. Drain and set aside for 15-20 mins, until cool enough to handle.

2. Add the garam masala, chilli powder, ground coriander and fresh coriander to the potatoes. Season, then mash until smooth.

3. Wet your hands, then shape the mixture into 10 round patties, about 1cm thick.

4. Put the flour, egg and breadcrumbs onto separate plates, then dip each patty first in the flour, then the egg, then the breadcrumbs to coat.

5. Heat the oil to medium-high, then fry the patties in batches for 2-3 mins on each side, until golden brown. Drain on kitchen paper, then serve with a chutney/ spicy salsa for dipping.

UM ALI:

A feast would not be complete without dessert! Try out this delicious Egyptian bread pudding known as Um Ali. It’s made with croissants, nuts and condensed milk and it’s absolutely delicious!

Um Ali

INGREDIENTS

850ml semi-skimmed milk

1⁄2 x 397g can condensed milk

1⁄2 tsp ground cardamom

1⁄4 tsp ground cinnamon, plus extra to serve

1 tsp vanilla extract

100ml double cream

1 tsp unsalted butter

4 all butter croissants, roughly torn

2 tbsp desiccated coconut

2 tbsp flaked almonds

2 tbsp unsalted pistachios, chopped

2 tbsp seedless raisins

METHOD

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C/fan 160°C/Gas 4.

2. Stir the milk, condensed milk, cardamom, cinnamon and vanilla extract together in a saucepan. Slowly bring to the boil and simmer gently for 2mins, stirring occasionally. Add the cream and carefully bring back to the boil, then remove from the heat.

3. Using the butter, grease a round baking dish, roughly 22cm in diameter and 5cm deep, and cover the base with half the croissant pieces.

4. Sprinkle over half each of the coconut, almonds, pistachios and raisins, then pour over the milk mixture.

5. Top with the remaining croissants, nuts and raisins, plus an extra pinch of cinnamon.

6. Bake in the oven for 20-25mins until golden and bubbling, then leave to stand for 10 mins before serving.

I hope you enjoy these recipes and will try them out! You can find more of my recipes at mybigfathalalblog.com.

7 hours ago

One-Week Married! #muzmatchsuccess

My husband and I got married last week! I wanted to share our story with you. Jarred and I started talking earlier this year and had an instant connection.

Jarred is from Connecticut and I'm from Texas. He was in Arkansas for school and recently graduated and was interested in meeting someone so he downloaded muzmatch.

We started talking and realized how much we had in common and quickly became serious about each other. We complimented each another in so many ways: prioritizing our deen, family and wanting to make a positive difference in the world.

Jarred then drove to see me. After that, we were certain we wanted to get married and decided to have our nikkah before Ramadan. We've been married almost a month now and it's been a wonderful adventure!

We're so happy! Jazakallah khair for connecting us!

8 hours ago

Our Mixed Race Marriage #muzmatchsuccess

Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah and the muzmatch team!

I'm from Indonesia and my husband is from Germany, but he is Russian.

What a blessing it is to have a mixed raced marriage!

I knew my husband from muzmatch since May 2017 and then he visited Indonesia in November 2017. I didn't believe he was serious until he visited me and my family.

Months later, I flew to Germany and found work there because I wanted to be close to him.

I was in love.

Finally on 28 Dec 2018, we had our nikkah which fell on the last Jumu'ah of the month and in March 2019 we got officially married.

Thank you to the muzmatch team!

1 day ago