Loneliness and Marriage in Ramadan

By Aisha Robertson

Breaking your fast in Ramadan with others is part of the experience.

This Ramadan is my thirteenth, and I’ve been looking forward to it. I was 27 years old when I converted to Islam and consequently spent 27 years celebrating Christian holidays and birthdays. I did go through a transition period of adjustment to my new faith and way of life and, I feel a deep sense of ownership and pride in the Islamic holidays I now celebrate as a Muslim woman.After converting to Islam, I was quick to learn salah and wear hijab. I was incredibly grateful to Allah for the hidayah (guidance) I was given and I wanted to be identified in public as a Muslim. I could hardly wait for my first Ramadan because this would be the pillar of Islam that I would do with the whole Muslim community. It is true that fasting is an individual act; however, breaking the fast and sharing iftars along with performing the Tarawih Prayer are things that are usually done collectively.

Before converting to Islam I had fasted the 40 days of Lent; however, it was not the same as the fast of Ramadan because I did drink water during the day. Even though I had this experience of fasting previously I was still quite anxious about going without food and water during the day. I was not sure if I could do it, especially being in America where most people are not Muslim and daily life is not adjusted for Ramadan. But I knew that if Allah commanded me to do it, then it was possible.

I recall being very lonely during my first Ramadan. I was a new convert and I was single. Basically, I woke up for sahur and ate it alone, broke my fast alone and prayed Tarawih Prayer alone. I was a university graduate student and I lived alone. The Muslim Students’ Association at my university was dominated by brothers and consequently the iftars they held were for men only, so I really could not attend them. I did not know many sisters by that time and the local masjid was very far from where I lived. I did not have a car to drive to the masjid for community iftars and Tarawih Prayer. I did feel however, that Allah was always with me. In a way, I began to feel very close to Allah.

One of the best things that happened during my first Ramadan was that I got married. I was actually already engaged, but because of my circumstances and lack of family support, we decided it would be best to marry even though it was Ramadan so I would have a mahram. I was then able to eat sahur with my husband, pray, and break the fast with him. It brought me a great sense of peace and contentment. I also was able to go to the masjid for the Tarawih Prayer one time and I loved the entire experience of praying with so many sisters. I began to feel that I was part of the larger community of Muslims.

One of my friends, Aminah, is also a convert. I asked her about her experiences during her first Ramadan and, subhan Allah, I found we shared a similar experience of being anxious.

Sister Aminah also had a wonderful experience when meeting other Muslims. Aminah told me she felt, “A strangeness, because I wasn’t used to being treated like family from people I barely knew. Especially since I was used to the kind of people who only treated you right when they wanted something.”

Sister Aisha is another convert friend who lives in Kenya. Aisha explained to me that she found her first Ramadan to be spiritually fulfilling even though it was also a bit lonely for her. Aisha told me, “I really needed to replenish my spiritual needs and I loved the sacrifice. I visited the masjid several times and from then my masjid-phobia disappeared for good. I had this phobia to go to the masjid because I wasn’t sure I would be able to say the prayers correctly, as I had learned to pray on my own through books and used to do it in the house.” When Aisha told me about her masjid-phobia I smiled because I went through the same experience.

Aisha also told me that her `Eid Al-Fitr was rather uneventful because she, along with her husband and small daughter, had no other Muslim family. However, they were thankful to Allah the Almighty for everything. Aisha explained, “You see, both of us being reverts, we have no close Muslim ties. This is a time Muslims want to be with their close ones and so no one seems to want guests. That is when I came up with a dream to set up a house for reverts where they can feel at home especially during times like Ramadan!” I think Aisha’s idea is a great one and I pray it comes to fruition, in sha’ Allah.

I was able to spend my first `Eid Al-Fitr with my husband and his family, but I still felt a bit lonely. Perhaps it is because my own family was not able to celebrate with me. Allah promises to test us and I just view all of my lonely experiences as a test from Allah, the Most High. These experiences are also a reaffirmation of my reason for converting to Islam, which was for the sake of Allah alone and not to for pleasing people or for other worldly benefits.

Source article: http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/personal-stories/in-their-own-words/428595.html

24 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

South African Match! #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Halima and I'm from Gauteng, South Africa and my husband (Arshad) is from Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa; we are both South African Indians.

He liked my profile on muzmatch on the 8th of April 2018 and on the 9th we started chatting and Alhamdulillah, today we are husband and wife.

We did our Nikah last month (March 9th 2019).

About a month before I joined muzmatch I remember speaking to my mother in the kitchen as we cooked supper and she had full confidence that I'd be getting married soon.

I told her that I felt that maybe I'm just not meant to get married and be happy, taking into consideration that I personally felt like one could never find a decent man whose intention is to make Nikah in this day and age.

My Moulana had recommended that I join Nikah/Muslim match-making groups and muzmatch populated amongst my searches, so I downloaded the app and registered. After a while I had lost hope so I deleted the app from my phone but did not deactivate my profile.

It was a Monday morning, I had woken up to get ready for work,

I checked my phone and I had an email notification from muzmatch which read "Arshad likes you".

I was quite surprised; I looked at his profile and his biography was quite captivating but it seemed so surreal - this was too good to be true.

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I used the link in his bio to view his Facebook profile, we had a mutual friend which was my cousin that also resides in Kwa-Zulu Natal, so I felt a bit more assured that this is definitely real considering that I had started to think that this could potentially be a catfish.

We started chatting that very morning and there was an instant click. It felt like we were long lost friends because of how well we understood each other and could complete each others sentences. We had the same interests and the same intention; we could speak for hours on end without running out of things to say.

We had realized that we are most definitely soulmates.

Within 2 weeks he called my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. In July 2018 (21st), I booked a flight to visit him and his mum for the day and after spending time together we knew that this was the right decision and that Allah SWT had created us for each other.

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We then saw each other once again in August 2018 (25th - A surprise for my 21st birthday planned by him and my mum); and again in November 2018 when he flew up to attend my younger sister's wedding with his mum, younger sister and brother-in-law.

Slowly the long distance had become difficult, our younger sisters were both already married and settled and we started wondering when would we actually get married. In February this year he decided to relocate to Gauteng and found a temporary job.

His dad visited my parents and they decided to set a Nikah date, Alhamdulillah once the date was set everything fell into place by the will of Allah. He found a job as a PC Engineering lecturer and we were able to find our own place with our parents help and support.

Today I am happily married, living my dream with my husband and I have wonderful in-laws that love me as much as they love Arshad.

The most important quality I wanted in a husband was someone that could take my family as his own and Alhamdulillah I found that in Arshad.

We are now a huge happy family Alhamdulillah.

Jazak'Allah muzmatch! Arshad has found me due to the creation of this wonderful app (He always says that he found me, not the other way around).

I would advise everyone to put their trust and faith in Allah SWT, never give up hope that Allah SWT will send the one who is meant for you when the time is right - for Allah is the greatest of planners. May all the other individuals find their spouses through this app as well Insha'Allah.

Halima & Arshad

5 days ago

Egyptian Romance #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Yasmeen and I found my husband, Taymoor, on muzmatch on the last day of last ramadan. We were both divorced.

The first time we talked on muzmatch was in June and we got married one month later in August 2018. I always wanted to send our story to inspire others who are searching for a good husband and wife.  

We are both Egyptians, from Cairo, we even work & live very near to each others in New Cairo city. I am a digital marketing manager and Taymoor is an IT manager. I am 37 years old and he is 40.  

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I have a daughter who is 12 years old, and I was searching for a real Muslim man who would be a good husband and father. Finally I found Taymoor, who is a good man and a good Muslim, he is very kind.

I am telling my friends that I found someone who really looks like me from the inside.  He was divorced and also has a kid, who is 5 years old. When we first chatted on muzmatch we spoke for over 6 hours, he was surprised much we got on, he even thought that this was a prank!

I couldn't believe that I finally found the man I was looking for. The first time we met, was after Eid al futr, in the House of Cocoa, as Taymoor knew that I loved chocolate. We talked about ourselves for over six hours, I did not want to leave and neither did he.

After we met I told my family and friends, and he did too. He and his family visited us and we got married in only two months, I never imagined that I would find my soulmate and marry him that fast.

I always wanted to find a man to trust and love, after being a single mom for years, I found out that my dream man was hard to find, but alhamdullah I found him on your app.  

Alhamdullah, we are very happy together, my daughter lives with us and his son visits us on the weekends. You cannot imagine how much I am now recommending muzmatch to all my friends.

It didn't even take me long to find my husband. I used the app for almost one month or less.

I am so happy alhamdullah now that I married a real muslim I always wanted.  

6 days ago

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Close Call #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Sara and I just wanted to thank muzmatch and let you know that I finally got engaged on 24th December 2018 and found my Fiance - Ghazunfar on the App.  

We are really happy Alhamdulilah and just wanted to thank you for creating a platform for Muslims to find a suitable match for marriage!    

I believe it's a real blessing because initially we matched but we didn't talk as he hadn't read my messages and was not appearing online. After around 4 weeks, I unmatched however after some weeks I logged in and I came across his profile again. After some giving it some thought I decided to rematch and give it a try again.

The next day he replied to me and the is history.  Its been a almost a year since we matched on Muzmatch and we have set the Nikkah date which will be 1st March 2019 in Rawalpindi, Pakistan.  

Our families are very happy and we are looking forward to entering into the blessed union of marriage Insha'Allah. We just wanted to say keep up the good work, may Allah bless you and request that you keep us in prayers.  

One last thing to everyone using the  muzmatch App - please do not give up, there is someone out there for us all!  

6 days ago

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