This topic is a touchy topic for many of who have been raised in our cultures instead of Islam – and that is always thinking about having a BIG, extravagant wedding that costs a lot of money. The average girl who is ready to get married expects to have nothing less than a $50,000 wedding. That includes an expensive hotel, wedding dress, singer, cake, tuxedo, bride’s maid dresses, matching tuxedos for the men, flowers, limousine, catering, party favors, etc. So before a brother is to ask for a sister’s hand he is either to have all of his money ready for a wedding or stay engaged until it is ready. Nowadays, he just gets a bunch of credit cards and pays his wedding that way.
Is all that really necessary to say “I do?” Think about it.
The Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) said
“When the servant marries, then he has completed half of the deen. Then let him fear Allaah (Taqwa) with regard to the remaining half”(Saheeh ul-Jaami no.443)
You know when the youth become young adults in their mid to late teens, they start thinking about the opposite gender and marriage. Many of them want to get married, but due to the financial obligations that are tied to an expensive wedding they don’t get married at all. Due to not being able to suppress their emotions, and wait, many of them go about being with the opposite gender the haram way. Others just sit and wait until the perfect brother comes along who will have everything she wants in him, along with the big wedding check. This leads to sisters waiting until they are almost 30 to get married, and then they end up with either a small wedding party anyway or no wedding party at all. Why? Because now they just want to get married and settle, and they don’t care anymore.
So how do we keep everyone happy? Simple – follow the way of the Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) and Insha’Allah there will be no problems.
What Is A Marriage In Islam?
Anas (RA) describes one of the walimah’s hosted by the Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam):
“The Prophet stayed for three days at a place between Khaibar and Medina, and there he consummated his marriage with Safiyya bint Huyay (RA). I invited the Muslims to a banquet which included neither meat nor bread. The Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) ordered for the leather dining sheets to be spread, and then dates, dried yogurt and butter were provided over it, and that was the Walima (banquet) of the Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam).” (Reported by Bukhari)
Now there is nothing wrong with having a nice walimah, however it should be according to how much money the groom has. The groom should not have to go into debt due to having a BIG walimah.
So how do we keep our marriage simple?
In conclusion, my dearest sisters and brothers even if you have the finances, do not waste it on a BIG walimah, instead give some to the poor. Maybe send money to a charity organization and let them make a feast in a poor country and feed them as a gift to your selves. Subhan’Allaah imagine the good deeds that you’ll get, Insha’Allah. Another thing you can do with the money is pay for another couple to have a walimah and get married who are too poor to do it. Lastly, spend the money on better uses for yourselves. Maybe the two of you can go to Hajj, Umrah, buy a house interest free, etc.
You can contact sister Zohra Sarwari via her website: www.ZohraSarwari.com
Get married, free, on muzmatch.
My name is Halima and I'm from Gauteng, South Africa and my husband (Arshad) is from Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa; we are both South African Indians.
He liked my profile on muzmatch on the 8th of April 2018 and on the 9th we started chatting and Alhamdulillah, today we are husband and wife.
About a month before I joined muzmatch I remember speaking to my mother in the kitchen as we cooked supper and she had full confidence that I'd be getting married soon.
I told her that I felt that maybe I'm just not meant to get married and be happy, taking into consideration that I personally felt like one could never find a decent man whose intention is to make Nikah in this day and age.
My Moulana had recommended that I join Nikah/Muslim match-making groups and muzmatch populated amongst my searches, so I downloaded the app and registered. After a while I had lost hope so I deleted the app from my phone but did not deactivate my profile.
It was a Monday morning, I had woken up to get ready for work,
I checked my phone and I had an email notification from muzmatch which read "Arshad likes you".
I was quite surprised; I looked at his profile and his biography was quite captivating but it seemed so surreal - this was too good to be true.
I used the link in his bio to view his Facebook profile, we had a mutual friend which was my cousin that also resides in Kwa-Zulu Natal, so I felt a bit more assured that this is definitely real considering that I had started to think that this could potentially be a catfish.
We started chatting that very morning and there was an instant click. It felt like we were long lost friends because of how well we understood each other and could complete each others sentences. We had the same interests and the same intention; we could speak for hours on end without running out of things to say.
We had realized that we are most definitely soulmates.
Within 2 weeks he called my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. In July 2018 (21st), I booked a flight to visit him and his mum for the day and after spending time together we knew that this was the right decision and that Allah SWT had created us for each other.
We then saw each other once again in August 2018 (25th - A surprise for my 21st birthday planned by him and my mum); and again in November 2018 when he flew up to attend my younger sister's wedding with his mum, younger sister and brother-in-law.
Slowly the long distance had become difficult, our younger sisters were both already married and settled and we started wondering when would we actually get married. In February this year he decided to relocate to Gauteng and found a temporary job.
His dad visited my parents and they decided to set a Nikah date, Alhamdulillah once the date was set everything fell into place by the will of Allah. He found a job as a PC Engineering lecturer and we were able to find our own place with our parents help and support.
Today I am happily married, living my dream with my husband and I have wonderful in-laws that love me as much as they love Arshad.
The most important quality I wanted in a husband was someone that could take my family as his own and Alhamdulillah I found that in Arshad.
We are now a huge happy family Alhamdulillah.
Jazak'Allah muzmatch! Arshad has found me due to the creation of this wonderful app (He always says that he found me, not the other way around).
I would advise everyone to put their trust and faith in Allah SWT, never give up hope that Allah SWT will send the one who is meant for you when the time is right - for Allah is the greatest of planners. May all the other individuals find their spouses through this app as well Insha'Allah.
Halima & Arshad
My name is Yasmeen and I found my husband, Taymoor, on muzmatch on the last day of last ramadan. We were both divorced.
The first time we talked on muzmatch was in June and we got married one month later in August 2018. I always wanted to send our story to inspire others who are searching for a good husband and wife.
We are both Egyptians, from Cairo, we even work & live very near to each others in New Cairo city. I am a digital marketing manager and Taymoor is an IT manager. I am 37 years old and he is 40.
I have a daughter who is 12 years old, and I was searching for a real Muslim man who would be a good husband and father. Finally I found Taymoor, who is a good man and a good Muslim, he is very kind.
I am telling my friends that I found someone who really looks like me from the inside. He was divorced and also has a kid, who is 5 years old. When we first chatted on muzmatch we spoke for over 6 hours, he was surprised much we got on, he even thought that this was a prank!
I couldn't believe that I finally found the man I was looking for. The first time we met, was after Eid al futr, in the House of Cocoa, as Taymoor knew that I loved chocolate. We talked about ourselves for over six hours, I did not want to leave and neither did he.
After we met I told my family and friends, and he did too. He and his family visited us and we got married in only two months, I never imagined that I would find my soulmate and marry him that fast.
I always wanted to find a man to trust and love, after being a single mom for years, I found out that my dream man was hard to find, but alhamdullah I found him on your app.
Alhamdullah, we are very happy together, my daughter lives with us and his son visits us on the weekends. You cannot imagine how much I am now recommending muzmatch to all my friends.
It didn't even take me long to find my husband. I used the app for almost one month or less.
I am so happy alhamdullah now that I married a real muslim I always wanted.
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My name is Sara and I just wanted to thank muzmatch and let you know that I finally got engaged on 24th December 2018 and found my Fiance - Ghazunfar on the App.
We are really happy Alhamdulilah and just wanted to thank you for creating a platform for Muslims to find a suitable match for marriage!
I believe it's a real blessing because initially we matched but we didn't talk as he hadn't read my messages and was not appearing online. After around 4 weeks, I unmatched however after some weeks I logged in and I came across his profile again. After some giving it some thought I decided to rematch and give it a try again.
The next day he replied to me and the is history. Its been a almost a year since we matched on Muzmatch and we have set the Nikkah date which will be 1st March 2019 in Rawalpindi, Pakistan.
Our families are very happy and we are looking forward to entering into the blessed union of marriage Insha'Allah. We just wanted to say keep up the good work, may Allah bless you and request that you keep us in prayers.
One last thing to everyone using the muzmatch App - please do not give up, there is someone out there for us all!
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