How to Keep the Wedding Process Simple

by Zohra Sarwari

This topic is a touchy topic for many of who have been raised in our cultures instead of Islam – and that is always thinking about having a BIG, extravagant wedding that costs a lot of money.  The average girl who is ready to get married expects to have nothing less than a $50,000 wedding.  That includes an expensive hotel, wedding dress, singer, cake, tuxedo, bride’s maid dresses, matching tuxedos for the men, flowers, limousine, catering, party favors, etc.  So before a brother is to ask for a sister’s hand he is either to have all of his money ready for a wedding or stay engaged until it is ready.  Nowadays, he just gets a bunch of credit cards and pays his wedding that way.

Is all that really necessary to say “I do?”  Think about it.

The Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) said

“When the servant marries, then he has completed half of the deen. Then let him fear Allaah (Taqwa) with regard to the remaining half”(Saheeh ul-Jaami no.443)

You know when the youth become young adults in their mid to late teens, they start thinking about the opposite gender and marriage.  Many of them want to get married, but due to the financial obligations that are tied to an expensive wedding they don’t get married at all.  Due to not being able to suppress their emotions, and wait, many of them go about being with the opposite gender the haram way.   Others just sit and wait until the perfect brother comes along who will have everything she wants in him, along with the big wedding check.  This leads to sisters waiting until they are almost 30 to get married, and then they end up with either a small wedding party anyway or no wedding party at all.  Why? Because now they just want to get married and settle, and they don’t care anymore.

So how do we keep everyone happy?  Simple – follow the way of the Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) and Insha’Allah there will be no problems.

What Is A Marriage In Islam?

  1. In Islam a marriage is solemnized by a nikah – this is a marriage contract.  After the nikah the marriage should be consummated, and then the couple should have a walimah- which is a dinner to celebrate the marriage- this is done to let others know about the marriage inshAllaah.
  2. The walimah is a simple dinner to celebrate the marriage.   You make food, or cater it out.  Then you invite everyone to let them know you’re married now.  This event can be held in your home, back yard, a park, masjid, community center, or a hall.  This is the one event everyone thinks has to be BIG.  Well let’s see how the Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) did it.

Anas (RA) describes one of the walimah’s hosted by the Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam):

“The Prophet stayed for three days at a place between Khaibar and Medina, and there he consummated his marriage with Safiyya bint Huyay (RA). I invited the Muslims to a banquet which included neither meat nor bread. The Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) ordered for the leather dining sheets to be spread, and then dates, dried yogurt and butter were provided over it, and that was the Walima (banquet) of the Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam).” (Reported by Bukhari)

Now there is nothing wrong with having a nice walimah, however it should be according to how much money the groom has.  The groom should not have to go into debt due to having a BIG walimah.

So how do we keep our marriage simple?

  1. Have only the immediate family at the nikah.
  2. Make a list of the immediate family and friends that you want to invite to the Walimah.
  3. If you financially do not have the funds to invite all of those people for an entire meal, you should just have cake and tea for everyone.  However, if you have the walimah at a park or a free location, then inshAllaah ordering food or cooking for 100 people should not cost too much inshAllaah.
  4. On many occasions people make their Walimah a potluck.  Every family brings a dish and this way everyone shares in the cost and it helps the bride and groom.

In conclusion, my dearest sisters and brothers even if you have the finances, do not waste it on a BIG walimah, instead give some to the poor.  Maybe send money to a charity organization and let them make a feast in a poor country and feed them as a gift to your selves.   Subhan’Allaah imagine the good deeds that you’ll get, Insha’Allah.  Another thing you can do with the money is pay for another couple to have a walimah and get married who are too poor to do it.   Lastly, spend the money on better uses for yourselves.  Maybe the two of you can go to Hajj, Umrah, buy a house interest free, etc.

You can contact sister Zohra Sarwari via her website: www.ZohraSarwari.com

21 days ago

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South African Match! #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Halima and I'm from Gauteng, South Africa and my husband (Arshad) is from Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa; we are both South African Indians.

He liked my profile on muzmatch on the 8th of April 2018 and on the 9th we started chatting and Alhamdulillah, today we are husband and wife.

We did our Nikah last month (March 9th 2019).

About a month before I joined muzmatch I remember speaking to my mother in the kitchen as we cooked supper and she had full confidence that I'd be getting married soon.

I told her that I felt that maybe I'm just not meant to get married and be happy, taking into consideration that I personally felt like one could never find a decent man whose intention is to make Nikah in this day and age.

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I checked my phone and I had an email notification from muzmatch which read "Arshad likes you".

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We then saw each other once again in August 2018 (25th - A surprise for my 21st birthday planned by him and my mum); and again in November 2018 when he flew up to attend my younger sister's wedding with his mum, younger sister and brother-in-law.

Slowly the long distance had become difficult, our younger sisters were both already married and settled and we started wondering when would we actually get married. In February this year he decided to relocate to Gauteng and found a temporary job.

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Today I am happily married, living my dream with my husband and I have wonderful in-laws that love me as much as they love Arshad.

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Jazak'Allah muzmatch! Arshad has found me due to the creation of this wonderful app (He always says that he found me, not the other way around).

I would advise everyone to put their trust and faith in Allah SWT, never give up hope that Allah SWT will send the one who is meant for you when the time is right - for Allah is the greatest of planners. May all the other individuals find their spouses through this app as well Insha'Allah.

Halima & Arshad

3 days ago

Egyptian Romance #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Yasmeen and I found my husband, Taymoor, on muzmatch on the last day of last ramadan. We were both divorced.

The first time we talked on muzmatch was in June and we got married one month later in August 2018. I always wanted to send our story to inspire others who are searching for a good husband and wife.  

We are both Egyptians, from Cairo, we even work & live very near to each others in New Cairo city. I am a digital marketing manager and Taymoor is an IT manager. I am 37 years old and he is 40.  

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I have a daughter who is 12 years old, and I was searching for a real Muslim man who would be a good husband and father. Finally I found Taymoor, who is a good man and a good Muslim, he is very kind.

I am telling my friends that I found someone who really looks like me from the inside.  He was divorced and also has a kid, who is 5 years old. When we first chatted on muzmatch we spoke for over 6 hours, he was surprised much we got on, he even thought that this was a prank!

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It didn't even take me long to find my husband. I used the app for almost one month or less.

I am so happy alhamdullah now that I married a real muslim I always wanted.  

3 days ago

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Close Call #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Sara and I just wanted to thank muzmatch and let you know that I finally got engaged on 24th December 2018 and found my Fiance - Ghazunfar on the App.  

We are really happy Alhamdulilah and just wanted to thank you for creating a platform for Muslims to find a suitable match for marriage!    

I believe it's a real blessing because initially we matched but we didn't talk as he hadn't read my messages and was not appearing online. After around 4 weeks, I unmatched however after some weeks I logged in and I came across his profile again. After some giving it some thought I decided to rematch and give it a try again.

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One last thing to everyone using the  muzmatch App - please do not give up, there is someone out there for us all!  

3 days ago

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