Get Good with Allah BEFORE Marriage

Before I got married, I was given unsolicited advice on how to change in order to make myself “more appealing” to men. Sisters would voluntarily tell me I should change my dress style, personality and passion for activism in order not to scare them away.

I was frustrated. Since when was our purpose in life marriage? Where in the Qur’an does Allah The Provider—The One Who has written our provision in every aspect of our lives—ask us to change our personalities and tone down our activism in hopes of sacking a spouse? Why would I want to change myself to please someone else and marry someone who doesn’t actually appreciate who I truly am in the first place?

Nevertheless, with marriage being such a huge concern for our community, many face the temptation to change who they are and their core values for the sake of finding a spouse.

Here’s an idea: Instead of working to please a potential suitor, perhaps we should first seek to please Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He), the One Who sows the seed of love in our hearts and can bless us with our dream husband or dream wife or give us better than it if that’s what is best for us.

Thus, for those of us seeking to get married, in addition to searching on muzmatch, let’s look at our relationship with Al Wahhab, The Giver of All. Let’s be honest. We are talking about the Al Mujeeb, The Responder to Prayer. Those are amongst the Names of Allah! Allah gives and He answers!

If we are individuals who struggle to lower our gaze and protect our eyes, heart, tongue and body from falling into what is forbidden, don’t we know that Allah `azza wa jall (the Might and Majestic) will indeed massively reward us?

Every time we glance up and see someone we wish we could be with and then turn away, in that moment we can fervently ask Allah (swt) to bless us with a spouse who will be the sweetness of our eyes. Would not Allah `azza wa jall listen to and accept your supplication to Him? The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) has encouraged us with regards to our dua (supplication),

Ask and you will be given, ask you will be given,” (Tirmidhi)

In those moments in the last third of the night, in those two rakahs (units of prayer) which we make out of pure frustration of our situation, weeping, asking Allah (swt) to answer us—do we not think Allah rabul`alameen (Lord of the Worlds) will respond to us? How could Allah, The Responder, possibly not accept the supplication of His adamant worshipper who is painfully struggling to maintain his or her modesty and guard his or her chastity? Allahu Akbar (God is the Greatest), this is Allah! Without doubt Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala is going to answer us!

The Prophet ﷺ relates from Allah, the Lord of All the Worlds, in a hadith qudsi:

The Prophet ﷺ relates from Allah, the Lord of All the Worlds, in a hadith qudsi:

Our Lord (glorified and exalted be He) descends each night to the earth’s sky when there remains the final third of the night, and He says: ‘Who is saying a prayer to Me that I may answer it? Who is asking something of Me that I may give it him? Who is asking forgiveness of Me that I may forgive him?’” (Bukhari)

What is hooking up with a brother or sister on Facebook worth if we’re not more adamant about  hooking up with the One Who can hook us up?

As Shaykh Muhammad Faqih once said,

Hook up with Allah, Allah will hook you up!”

Let’s hook up with salah (prayer)! Hook up with the Qur’an! Hook up with community work for Allah’s Sake! And have certainty that when we struggle to please Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala, Allah, Ash-Shakoor, is the Most Appreciative of our work and will undoubtedly reward us.

Will that reward be in the form of an amazing spouse and an amazing marriage? Allah knows best. Perhaps it may and perhaps it may not. However, the best part is that Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala knows what is BEST for us and regardless of the outcome, we’ll have increased in the closeness of our relationship to Him through this test.

The Prophet ﷺ has told us,

Any Muslim who supplicates to Allah in a dua’ which contains no sin breaking of kinship, Allah will give him one of three things: either his dua’ will be immediately answered or, it will be saved for him in the hereafter, or it will turn away an equivalent amount of evil (from him)…” (Ahmad)

Thus, we must know that if we hook up with Allah, we can trust that He will hook us up with whatever is best, whether it be an answer to exactly what we are asking for or something better than that for us. Allah got our backs! Who better to trust our future with than the One Who already knows it?

Easier said than done? Maybe. But what have we got to lose? If at the end of the day, we are only increasing in closeness to Allah (swt), we are finding our Qur’anic recitation increasing, we are finally tasting the sweetness of our salah, we’re making more fervent duaa than ever before—then, God willing, we will have gained more than a spouse if one gets married, and we would have gained much more than Facebook “cruising for a spouse” time while we’re attempting to find our better half.

Those of us looking to get married must take the means necessary—meeting new people, downloading muzmatch getting involved with new organizations and projects, considering online options or singles’ events… We must take the means necessary for the outcome. But let us not forget that the One Who will facilitate the outcome should be on our minds, in our hearts and worship through our actions in more passionate, fervent ways than the time and effort we justifiably spend searching for our better halves.

And if marriage does not become a reality for whatever reason is best, then by focusing on increasing in our relationship with Allah (swt), we would have gained much, much more in both this life and the Next, God willing; a higher rank in the highest Paradise, an amazingly close relationship with our Creator and unparalleled new relationship with du`a’ (supplication) to the One Who always hears and responds.

The Lord of the Worlds speaks to us and tells us,

And when My slaves ask you concerning Me, then I am indeed near. I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me. So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright.” Quran, 2:186

We are coming to Allah with raja (hope), with a powerful combination of seeking Allah’s pleasure, striving to leave anything which may gain His displeasure and making a consistent effort to ask Him to open the best of ways for us. And with all of that, we’re putting our trust in Him that He will give us whatever is best. Of course Allah is listening and He will undoubtedly answer us.

As was once stated,

A person has never held certainty in Allah only for Allah to disappoint him or her. Never will Allah disappoint those with yaqeen (certainty), tawakkul (reliance) and husn al-dhann (good opinion) of Him.”

Hook up with Allah and Allah the All Wise will undoubtedly hook us up in the best of ways.

Written by Maryam Amirebrahimi

If you would like to write for us, email us: marketing@muzmatch.com

23 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

South African Match! #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Halima and I'm from Gauteng, South Africa and my husband (Arshad) is from Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa; we are both South African Indians.

He liked my profile on muzmatch on the 8th of April 2018 and on the 9th we started chatting and Alhamdulillah, today we are husband and wife.

We did our Nikah last month (March 9th 2019).

About a month before I joined muzmatch I remember speaking to my mother in the kitchen as we cooked supper and she had full confidence that I'd be getting married soon.

I told her that I felt that maybe I'm just not meant to get married and be happy, taking into consideration that I personally felt like one could never find a decent man whose intention is to make Nikah in this day and age.

My Moulana had recommended that I join Nikah/Muslim match-making groups and muzmatch populated amongst my searches, so I downloaded the app and registered. After a while I had lost hope so I deleted the app from my phone but did not deactivate my profile.

It was a Monday morning, I had woken up to get ready for work,

I checked my phone and I had an email notification from muzmatch which read "Arshad likes you".

I was quite surprised; I looked at his profile and his biography was quite captivating but it seemed so surreal - this was too good to be true.

Wintery iPhone Flat Lay Mock Up
Photo by Emma Matthews / Unsplash

I used the link in his bio to view his Facebook profile, we had a mutual friend which was my cousin that also resides in Kwa-Zulu Natal, so I felt a bit more assured that this is definitely real considering that I had started to think that this could potentially be a catfish.

We started chatting that very morning and there was an instant click. It felt like we were long lost friends because of how well we understood each other and could complete each others sentences. We had the same interests and the same intention; we could speak for hours on end without running out of things to say.

We had realized that we are most definitely soulmates.

Within 2 weeks he called my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. In July 2018 (21st), I booked a flight to visit him and his mum for the day and after spending time together we knew that this was the right decision and that Allah SWT had created us for each other.

Photo by Ross Parmly / Unsplash

We then saw each other once again in August 2018 (25th - A surprise for my 21st birthday planned by him and my mum); and again in November 2018 when he flew up to attend my younger sister's wedding with his mum, younger sister and brother-in-law.

Slowly the long distance had become difficult, our younger sisters were both already married and settled and we started wondering when would we actually get married. In February this year he decided to relocate to Gauteng and found a temporary job.

His dad visited my parents and they decided to set a Nikah date, Alhamdulillah once the date was set everything fell into place by the will of Allah. He found a job as a PC Engineering lecturer and we were able to find our own place with our parents help and support.

Today I am happily married, living my dream with my husband and I have wonderful in-laws that love me as much as they love Arshad.

The most important quality I wanted in a husband was someone that could take my family as his own and Alhamdulillah I found that in Arshad.

We are now a huge happy family Alhamdulillah.

Jazak'Allah muzmatch! Arshad has found me due to the creation of this wonderful app (He always says that he found me, not the other way around).

I would advise everyone to put their trust and faith in Allah SWT, never give up hope that Allah SWT will send the one who is meant for you when the time is right - for Allah is the greatest of planners. May all the other individuals find their spouses through this app as well Insha'Allah.

Halima & Arshad

3 days ago

Egyptian Romance #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Yasmeen and I found my husband, Taymoor, on muzmatch on the last day of last ramadan. We were both divorced.

The first time we talked on muzmatch was in June and we got married one month later in August 2018. I always wanted to send our story to inspire others who are searching for a good husband and wife.  

We are both Egyptians, from Cairo, we even work & live very near to each others in New Cairo city. I am a digital marketing manager and Taymoor is an IT manager. I am 37 years old and he is 40.  

Influences of the past —
Stories, desire and a vivid imagination
attract people to this place.
Photo by Simon Matzinger / Unsplash

I have a daughter who is 12 years old, and I was searching for a real Muslim man who would be a good husband and father. Finally I found Taymoor, who is a good man and a good Muslim, he is very kind.

I am telling my friends that I found someone who really looks like me from the inside.  He was divorced and also has a kid, who is 5 years old. When we first chatted on muzmatch we spoke for over 6 hours, he was surprised much we got on, he even thought that this was a prank!

I couldn't believe that I finally found the man I was looking for. The first time we met, was after Eid al futr, in the House of Cocoa, as Taymoor knew that I loved chocolate. We talked about ourselves for over six hours, I did not want to leave and neither did he.

After we met I told my family and friends, and he did too. He and his family visited us and we got married in only two months, I never imagined that I would find my soulmate and marry him that fast.

I always wanted to find a man to trust and love, after being a single mom for years, I found out that my dream man was hard to find, but alhamdullah I found him on your app.  

Alhamdullah, we are very happy together, my daughter lives with us and his son visits us on the weekends. You cannot imagine how much I am now recommending muzmatch to all my friends.

It didn't even take me long to find my husband. I used the app for almost one month or less.

I am so happy alhamdullah now that I married a real muslim I always wanted.  

4 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

Close Call #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Sara and I just wanted to thank muzmatch and let you know that I finally got engaged on 24th December 2018 and found my Fiance - Ghazunfar on the App.  

We are really happy Alhamdulilah and just wanted to thank you for creating a platform for Muslims to find a suitable match for marriage!    

I believe it's a real blessing because initially we matched but we didn't talk as he hadn't read my messages and was not appearing online. After around 4 weeks, I unmatched however after some weeks I logged in and I came across his profile again. After some giving it some thought I decided to rematch and give it a try again.

The next day he replied to me and the is history.  Its been a almost a year since we matched on Muzmatch and we have set the Nikkah date which will be 1st March 2019 in Rawalpindi, Pakistan.  

Our families are very happy and we are looking forward to entering into the blessed union of marriage Insha'Allah. We just wanted to say keep up the good work, may Allah bless you and request that you keep us in prayers.  

One last thing to everyone using the  muzmatch App - please do not give up, there is someone out there for us all!  

4 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.



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