By Zarqa Khan.
In terms of people, origin describes our ancestry, our roots, our parentage and background. For young Muslims living in a multicultural society in London, we generally have a mix of friends from diverse backgrounds and tend to leave our culture at home when mixing. However, origin is something we question quite early on when building a network of friends, because as humans, we are naturally curious and it helps us to envisage a person’s culture and lifestyle. It also helps us to build a foundation of commonality between us. Origin is such, that in the South Asian community during our childhood, quite often, instead of being treated to sunny beach resorts during the summer hols (that we often look forward to), our parents take us back to our homeland (Pakistan, Bangladesh, India etc.) Their intention being that we are aware of our roots, traditions, and culture through visiting extended family.
Many people fall in love with people of other origins. What is all the fuss about I wonder? For many British Muslims the criterion sought in a potential partner becomes irrelevant as long as they are Muslim.
Would it be fair to say that seeking a suitable partner for marriage has become increasingly difficult, since some of us Brits choose to reject proposals from back home or we are obsessed with physical attributes such as height and complexion, or perhaps material wealth and status is very important to us?
However, over recent years, singletons have succumbed to the fact that perfection does not exist. Islamic teachings suggest that we should not decline a potential marriage proposal because of a person’s ethnic origin. A Muslim matrimonial website for singles globally recently revealed through an on-going singles poll, the importance of marrying someone with the same nationality. Results reveal that 24.15% agreed that it is very important that their partner shares the same nationality: 36.31% felt that nationality is a consideration, but not an essential one. However, a staggering 40.38% felt that nationality doesn’t matter when looking for a marriage partner.
Typically, with the exception of a few, the Muslim bride joins the groom’s family and makes adjustments to her lifestyle, by moving out of her parents’ home. She also carries forward his family lineage. Because of this, the children are usually taught the father’s language and therefore, it is believed that diverse origins are welcomed by the male more openly than the female. However, people still have their reservations about marrying someone from a different origin. These include concerns of family culture clashes, losing one’s cultural identity, concerns that only father’s language would be taught to future children and some feel that it would be unfair on their future children to be brought up with a mixed background. Furthermore, the communication between two families joined in matrimony and them getting on well is something that is desired by most. Thus, quite often, Brits barricade themselves from looking further than their own origin and this has contributed to the increasing number of single people, as they are restricting their options.
Language barriers can easily be overcome by the use of common languages, i.e. English. It also depends on the individual and their flexibility and the type of lifestyle one is willing to lead. For example, if a couple live their life according to Islamic teachings and not culture, they would probably find it easier to mix. When seeking a marriage partner, it would be wise to discuss issues such as lifestyle, culture, traditions, religious views, expectations and future upbringing of children beforehand to establish a common ground for a potential mixed marriage. This would in essence, enhance the success of a potential marriage. Well go on…ask yourself, does origin really matter?
Link to original article: http://www.themuslimpaper.com/news/?p=462
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Well, to sum up both of us is hard. We were both born in 1988, so I think this made it easier for us to communicate as we had lots in common. We both found out that we really really wanted to settle down and start investing in the future.
I can’t really explain it...it was just meant to be!
We literally did katb al-kitāb and wedding ceremony in two weeks. I had my henna prepped in one week and the wedding the next.
We were going to wait but why?
We knew we were meant to be. We had the means to pull it off and thank God we did because now we have a baby girl coming soon.
I just felt bad for my mom because she wanted the big extravagant Arabic wedding, but because of the short notice, only 60 people showed up to the wedding. We still danced the night away and ate lots of food.
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By Jennifer Dawson
So you’ve found the love of your life thanks to muzmatch, and set the date for your Nikkah. For many people, the next step is choosing their wedding outfit. This is often a large part of the wedding budget, with some British sisters spending up to £4,000 on their dress, suit or lehenga.
As soon as the outfit planning begins, insecurities appear; for both the bride and the groom, being the focus of attention can feel daunting, and the pressure to look "perfect" can feel overwhelming. It’s important to remember that God is our Maker; he has made you beautiful simply as you are, but it’s also natural to want to be healthy and prepared for your wedding and the start of your marriage. Here’s how to achieve this balance.
A recent study of Muslim women in the US suggested that Muslim women may be less physically active than others for a variety of reasons. A lack of cardiovascular exercise can make you more prone to obesity, heart disease or high blood pressure. It’s not just about looking lovely in your lehenga; a pre-wedding workout routine can set you up to be fit and healthy for a long and happy life. You can increase your heart rate through activities such as brisk walking or attending a spinning class without feeling embarrassed or immodest; spinning is also low impact, which reduces your risk of injuries in the run up to the big day.
Across the world, back pain is the single leading cause of disability, and it’s often caused by poor posture. Even if you don’t currently experience any problems, it’s always worth strengthening and building your core muscles and practising correct posture in order to prevent problems. This can be particularly important in the future, if you are blessed with children. Pregnancy, labor and carrying small children can have a significant impact on your spine, so make it strong from now with pilates or yoga. As a bonus, these activities will also help you to stand beautifully straight on your wedding day and look even more poised and confident.
In all the excitement of wedding preparations, it can become easy to feel stressed and to lose sight of God’s role in your journey. Part of your pre-wedding focus should therefore be on preparing your mind through prayer, meditation and mindfulness, in order to regain your balance and enter into marriage in the right spirit. Yoga classes and meditation apps are good for this, but so is spending time in nature; studies suggest that even just taking a walk in a green space can boost your immune system, improve your memory and make you feel happier. Just what you need when the wedding admin is piling up and you need to remember which family member should sit where!
Preparing for your wedding is such an exciting and busy time, but it’s important to carve out opportunities to look after your health and fitness too. Not only can this help you to lose weight, tone up and look great on the day, but it can also improve your long-term heart health, protect your spine and calm your mind. Even better, it’ll give you plenty of stamina to dance well into the night as you celebrate with your loved ones and new spouse.