Do You Really Want to Get Married?

How do you know if you are ready to get married and more specifically if you are ready to marry that particular person?

Do you really want to get married? While there are some Muslims that do not want to get married most young single Muslims do.

Many young people want to get married because their friends are getting married or because “they are at that age” or because their parents are putting pressure on them to get married. Some want to get out of a difficult home life.

Some want to get married out of physical attraction, or because they are attracted to intellect, and money. Some young Muslims want to get married because they realize marriage was the tradition of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and they see marriage as a form of worship. Some who want to get married seek companionship, and the family stability that a healthy married life can provide.

There are of course those who at this point in their life realize they are not ready for marriage. They realize it would be better to wait until they are ready rather than to marry prematurely. They want avoid living in an unhappy marriage or to end-up dissolving the marriage because of irreconcilable differences.

How do you know if you are ready to get married and more specifically if you are ready to marry that particular person?

To get to know whether or not you are ready for marriage, it is important to get to know yourself.  The first thing you must do is spend time conducting a personal self assessment to identify your personal strengths and areas that need improvement.  It is important to get to know what kind of relationship you have with Allah, and what kind of relationship you expect to have with your future spouse.

  • Are you ready to share your life with someone else?
  • Are you ready to take on the responsibility of building your family, sharing and compromising and working together to achieve your personal and family goals?
  • It is important to know what you will contribute to the marriage and what you will do to cultivate a healthy, peaceful family life.

Getting Ready

Premarital education is essential to help us know if we really want to get married and if we are ready to marry.  It also helps us learn the skills needed to develop a good marital relationship. In the United States many religious traditions require marriage preparation, and education prior to marriage. Some religious leaders have made a commitment not to perform the marriage ceremony of a couple that has not participated in a marriage preparation or education or counselling programme.

I recently met a young Catholic man who indicated that he and his fiancé attended 8 weeks of premarital education as well as other programmes  to educate and prepare them for family life.   Other faith traditions have made major steps to prepare for marriage and family life.  It is time that Muslims re-adopt the importance of marriage education that was part of the teaching of Prophet Muhammad during the early days of Islam.

I recommend that single Muslims participate in a marriage preparation and education programme way before they start exploring prospects for marriage. Such a program should help them get to know themselves better,develop their relationship with Allah, and identify their strengths and areas in which they need to improve themselves. Most people get married before they know who they really are.  Few have taken the time to engage in a personal self assessment.  A marriage education programme can also prepare the individual with skills to help them once they do marry.

  • Communication skills
  • Budgeting and finance
  • Anger management
  • Problem solving and conflict resolution

All of the above are essential skills in a marriage.  Such a programme should also include a discussion of intimacy and sex in marriage.

A Likely Match?

Once you meet the person you think you will want to marry I advise both of you to pray Istikhara prayer for guidance, and to seek the wise council of close family and friends.

I also advise that the engaged or soon-to-be engaged couple meet with a wise spiritual and professional advisor to help determine if they are compatible and suitable for one another.  It is important to spend time getting to know the person you are thinking of marrying and whether or not that person has character, temperament, religious character, and behaviour that is compatible to yours.

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A Premarital Advisement helps to identify the challenges a couple may face in marriage as well as strategies to help prevent or address the challenges before they present a problem.

Marriage is one of the most important things you will do in life. It is half of our religion and is the foundation of our society; however we tend to spend more time preparing for our career than we do for our marital lives. Expect to spend real time learning about what it means to be married before you sign the marriage contract.  Take time to learn whether or not you are really ready to lead a healthy married life.

By Dr Aneesah Nadir

Social Worker, Marriage & Family Life Educator- U.S.

Source article:

19 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

South African Match! #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Halima and I'm from Gauteng, South Africa and my husband (Arshad) is from Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa; we are both South African Indians.

He liked my profile on muzmatch on the 8th of April 2018 and on the 9th we started chatting and Alhamdulillah, today we are husband and wife.

We did our Nikah last month (March 9th 2019).

About a month before I joined muzmatch I remember speaking to my mother in the kitchen as we cooked supper and she had full confidence that I'd be getting married soon.

I told her that I felt that maybe I'm just not meant to get married and be happy, taking into consideration that I personally felt like one could never find a decent man whose intention is to make Nikah in this day and age.

My Moulana had recommended that I join Nikah/Muslim match-making groups and muzmatch populated amongst my searches, so I downloaded the app and registered. After a while I had lost hope so I deleted the app from my phone but did not deactivate my profile.

It was a Monday morning, I had woken up to get ready for work,

I checked my phone and I had an email notification from muzmatch which read "Arshad likes you".

I was quite surprised; I looked at his profile and his biography was quite captivating but it seemed so surreal - this was too good to be true.

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I used the link in his bio to view his Facebook profile, we had a mutual friend which was my cousin that also resides in Kwa-Zulu Natal, so I felt a bit more assured that this is definitely real considering that I had started to think that this could potentially be a catfish.

We started chatting that very morning and there was an instant click. It felt like we were long lost friends because of how well we understood each other and could complete each others sentences. We had the same interests and the same intention; we could speak for hours on end without running out of things to say.

We had realized that we are most definitely soulmates.

Within 2 weeks he called my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. In July 2018 (21st), I booked a flight to visit him and his mum for the day and after spending time together we knew that this was the right decision and that Allah SWT had created us for each other.

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We then saw each other once again in August 2018 (25th - A surprise for my 21st birthday planned by him and my mum); and again in November 2018 when he flew up to attend my younger sister's wedding with his mum, younger sister and brother-in-law.

Slowly the long distance had become difficult, our younger sisters were both already married and settled and we started wondering when would we actually get married. In February this year he decided to relocate to Gauteng and found a temporary job.

His dad visited my parents and they decided to set a Nikah date, Alhamdulillah once the date was set everything fell into place by the will of Allah. He found a job as a PC Engineering lecturer and we were able to find our own place with our parents help and support.

Today I am happily married, living my dream with my husband and I have wonderful in-laws that love me as much as they love Arshad.

The most important quality I wanted in a husband was someone that could take my family as his own and Alhamdulillah I found that in Arshad.

We are now a huge happy family Alhamdulillah.

Jazak'Allah muzmatch! Arshad has found me due to the creation of this wonderful app (He always says that he found me, not the other way around).

I would advise everyone to put their trust and faith in Allah SWT, never give up hope that Allah SWT will send the one who is meant for you when the time is right - for Allah is the greatest of planners. May all the other individuals find their spouses through this app as well Insha'Allah.

Halima & Arshad

1 day ago

Egyptian Romance #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Yasmeen and I found my husband, Taymoor, on muzmatch on the last day of last ramadan. We were both divorced.

The first time we talked on muzmatch was in June and we got married one month later in August 2018. I always wanted to send our story to inspire others who are searching for a good husband and wife.  

We are both Egyptians, from Cairo, we even work & live very near to each others in New Cairo city. I am a digital marketing manager and Taymoor is an IT manager. I am 37 years old and he is 40.  

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Stories, desire and a vivid imagination
attract people to this place.
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I have a daughter who is 12 years old, and I was searching for a real Muslim man who would be a good husband and father. Finally I found Taymoor, who is a good man and a good Muslim, he is very kind.

I am telling my friends that I found someone who really looks like me from the inside.  He was divorced and also has a kid, who is 5 years old. When we first chatted on muzmatch we spoke for over 6 hours, he was surprised much we got on, he even thought that this was a prank!

I couldn't believe that I finally found the man I was looking for. The first time we met, was after Eid al futr, in the House of Cocoa, as Taymoor knew that I loved chocolate. We talked about ourselves for over six hours, I did not want to leave and neither did he.

After we met I told my family and friends, and he did too. He and his family visited us and we got married in only two months, I never imagined that I would find my soulmate and marry him that fast.

I always wanted to find a man to trust and love, after being a single mom for years, I found out that my dream man was hard to find, but alhamdullah I found him on your app.  

Alhamdullah, we are very happy together, my daughter lives with us and his son visits us on the weekends. You cannot imagine how much I am now recommending muzmatch to all my friends.

It didn't even take me long to find my husband. I used the app for almost one month or less.

I am so happy alhamdullah now that I married a real muslim I always wanted.  

1 day ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

Close Call #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Sara and I just wanted to thank muzmatch and let you know that I finally got engaged on 24th December 2018 and found my Fiance - Ghazunfar on the App.  

We are really happy Alhamdulilah and just wanted to thank you for creating a platform for Muslims to find a suitable match for marriage!    

I believe it's a real blessing because initially we matched but we didn't talk as he hadn't read my messages and was not appearing online. After around 4 weeks, I unmatched however after some weeks I logged in and I came across his profile again. After some giving it some thought I decided to rematch and give it a try again.

The next day he replied to me and the is history.  Its been a almost a year since we matched on Muzmatch and we have set the Nikkah date which will be 1st March 2019 in Rawalpindi, Pakistan.  

Our families are very happy and we are looking forward to entering into the blessed union of marriage Insha'Allah. We just wanted to say keep up the good work, may Allah bless you and request that you keep us in prayers.  

One last thing to everyone using the  muzmatch App - please do not give up, there is someone out there for us all!  

1 day ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

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