muzmatch caught up with Wajeeha Amin, an experienced relationship and lifestyle coach. This is the first in the series of #WajeehaTalks – where we will be unpacking different parts of relationships in the Muslim community.
That’s an interesting question, to be honest, it does not apply to just Muslims, it refers to everyone. After all, we are all human, and we all need some support now and again, in all areas of life, not just finding the one.
If we’re facing problems, we’ve always been encouraged to seek support from within our community networks; however are they giving us the kind of support that is needed when it comes to finding the one?
The sad truth is that many of us feel our communities, friends or family don’t or won’t understand what it means to be searching for our other half in this day and age.
We may not feel comfortable discussing very personal and private emotions with those close to us. So we don’t talk about things, we push through; we knuckle on, and we hope it will all get sorted out in the end.
It’s not our fault – Relationships is a life skill that no one teaches us it’s a given that we will know how to “get on with it”. And it’s not “normal” to seek guidance in this area of life, most of us, if we are honest, are leaving it to chance or luck that it will just happen at the right time. There is are exception’s to the rule, but more than ever even with all the advances in modern life, you know the apps like Muzmatch, online, matrimonial events and aunty jees we are still struggling to find the right person to marry.
The reality and the hard fact of life, we get on with it by default, some bits we get right, some bits we get wrong and some bits we make it up as we go along. While using examples of “relationships” around us, from our personal experience and what we hear from friends and family. Leaving us frustrated and even more lost than we were when we first started our search for the one.
When it comes to coaching I think people jump to conclusions that there must be something “wrong”. Coaching is not about saying something is wrong with you it’s assisting you to bridge the gap between where you are now, to where you would like to be. Coaching enables you to develop your own capabilities – and in doing so to maximise your potential. Equipping you with the tools, techniques and strategies to navigate the world of relationships.
True but I think all of us if asked, would consider coaching to be positive and beneficial, but we tend to regard it as a choice for ‘other people’. It feels like it’s not for us, even if we don’t really know why. Thing is most of the world’s most successful people, from athletes to business people have coaches to accelerate their success.
Coaching aside we would not hit the road without taking some driving lessons with a driving instructor, so why is it when it comes to a life decision that will impact on the rest of our life we are going it alone? It’s because it’s the done thing to seek out a driving instructor to show us the techniques to be a competent driver. But not the done thing to work with a coach on the most significant life choice we will ever make.
I have worked with countless singles who, after going it alone decided that wanted to take control of their life and find the right partner for them. Needless to say, they went on to marry and marry well.
As Tony Robbins said “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. ” Don’t leave finding, connecting and keeping your Mr or Mrs Right to chance or luck, take control and learn how to master the skills of relationships it’s an investment that will last a lifetime and keep on giving.
Wajeeha Amin is a Relationship Coach and is on a mission to equip people with the tools that strengthen love and care in all their relationships. She pioneered the Finding Mr or Mrs Right Masterclass and has been supporting countless singles to go on to marry and Marry well. She was a finalist for Asian Women of Achievement award for her work and is an Ambassador for Women on the future.
To find out more about Wajeeha and her work visit her website:
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My name is Halima and I'm from Gauteng, South Africa and my husband (Arshad) is from Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa; we are both South African Indians.
He liked my profile on muzmatch on the 8th of April 2018 and on the 9th we started chatting and Alhamdulillah, today we are husband and wife.
About a month before I joined muzmatch I remember speaking to my mother in the kitchen as we cooked supper and she had full confidence that I'd be getting married soon.
I told her that I felt that maybe I'm just not meant to get married and be happy, taking into consideration that I personally felt like one could never find a decent man whose intention is to make Nikah in this day and age.
My Moulana had recommended that I join Nikah/Muslim match-making groups and muzmatch populated amongst my searches, so I downloaded the app and registered. After a while I had lost hope so I deleted the app from my phone but did not deactivate my profile.
It was a Monday morning, I had woken up to get ready for work,
I checked my phone and I had an email notification from muzmatch which read "Arshad likes you".
I was quite surprised; I looked at his profile and his biography was quite captivating but it seemed so surreal - this was too good to be true.
I used the link in his bio to view his Facebook profile, we had a mutual friend which was my cousin that also resides in Kwa-Zulu Natal, so I felt a bit more assured that this is definitely real considering that I had started to think that this could potentially be a catfish.
We started chatting that very morning and there was an instant click. It felt like we were long lost friends because of how well we understood each other and could complete each others sentences. We had the same interests and the same intention; we could speak for hours on end without running out of things to say.
We had realized that we are most definitely soulmates.
Within 2 weeks he called my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. In July 2018 (21st), I booked a flight to visit him and his mum for the day and after spending time together we knew that this was the right decision and that Allah SWT had created us for each other.
We then saw each other once again in August 2018 (25th - A surprise for my 21st birthday planned by him and my mum); and again in November 2018 when he flew up to attend my younger sister's wedding with his mum, younger sister and brother-in-law.
Slowly the long distance had become difficult, our younger sisters were both already married and settled and we started wondering when would we actually get married. In February this year he decided to relocate to Gauteng and found a temporary job.
His dad visited my parents and they decided to set a Nikah date, Alhamdulillah once the date was set everything fell into place by the will of Allah. He found a job as a PC Engineering lecturer and we were able to find our own place with our parents help and support.
Today I am happily married, living my dream with my husband and I have wonderful in-laws that love me as much as they love Arshad.
The most important quality I wanted in a husband was someone that could take my family as his own and Alhamdulillah I found that in Arshad.
We are now a huge happy family Alhamdulillah.
Jazak'Allah muzmatch! Arshad has found me due to the creation of this wonderful app (He always says that he found me, not the other way around).
I would advise everyone to put their trust and faith in Allah SWT, never give up hope that Allah SWT will send the one who is meant for you when the time is right - for Allah is the greatest of planners. May all the other individuals find their spouses through this app as well Insha'Allah.
Halima & Arshad
My name is Yasmeen and I found my husband, Taymoor, on muzmatch on the last day of last ramadan. We were both divorced.
The first time we talked on muzmatch was in June and we got married one month later in August 2018. I always wanted to send our story to inspire others who are searching for a good husband and wife.
We are both Egyptians, from Cairo, we even work & live very near to each others in New Cairo city. I am a digital marketing manager and Taymoor is an IT manager. I am 37 years old and he is 40.
I have a daughter who is 12 years old, and I was searching for a real Muslim man who would be a good husband and father. Finally I found Taymoor, who is a good man and a good Muslim, he is very kind.
I am telling my friends that I found someone who really looks like me from the inside. He was divorced and also has a kid, who is 5 years old. When we first chatted on muzmatch we spoke for over 6 hours, he was surprised much we got on, he even thought that this was a prank!
I couldn't believe that I finally found the man I was looking for. The first time we met, was after Eid al futr, in the House of Cocoa, as Taymoor knew that I loved chocolate. We talked about ourselves for over six hours, I did not want to leave and neither did he.
After we met I told my family and friends, and he did too. He and his family visited us and we got married in only two months, I never imagined that I would find my soulmate and marry him that fast.
I always wanted to find a man to trust and love, after being a single mom for years, I found out that my dream man was hard to find, but alhamdullah I found him on your app.
Alhamdullah, we are very happy together, my daughter lives with us and his son visits us on the weekends. You cannot imagine how much I am now recommending muzmatch to all my friends.
It didn't even take me long to find my husband. I used the app for almost one month or less.
I am so happy alhamdullah now that I married a real muslim I always wanted.
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My name is Sara and I just wanted to thank muzmatch and let you know that I finally got engaged on 24th December 2018 and found my Fiance - Ghazunfar on the App.
We are really happy Alhamdulilah and just wanted to thank you for creating a platform for Muslims to find a suitable match for marriage!
I believe it's a real blessing because initially we matched but we didn't talk as he hadn't read my messages and was not appearing online. After around 4 weeks, I unmatched however after some weeks I logged in and I came across his profile again. After some giving it some thought I decided to rematch and give it a try again.
The next day he replied to me and the is history. Its been a almost a year since we matched on Muzmatch and we have set the Nikkah date which will be 1st March 2019 in Rawalpindi, Pakistan.
Our families are very happy and we are looking forward to entering into the blessed union of marriage Insha'Allah. We just wanted to say keep up the good work, may Allah bless you and request that you keep us in prayers.
One last thing to everyone using the muzmatch App - please do not give up, there is someone out there for us all!
Get married, free, on muzmatch.