10 Tips for a Healthy Long-Distance Relationship

This week’s guest blog is by Ammar Farishta.

For a guy who has been in a long distance relationship for the best part of a year now, I’d consider myself a self-proclaimed expert of sorts on the subject. I’ve seen for myself the highs and lows that such a unique relationship can bring and the ultimately unique path that we blaze in the world is something that most ordinary couples usually won’t witness or have to traverse themselves. I present below 10 tips which couples may find useful who have themselves the unfortunate situation of being away from their significant other.

1. Be Positive

This may sound like a no-brainer but you’d be surprised how quickly negativity can bring about its very own vicious cycle, where it leads to more negativity. Whatever it is you gain your positive energy from (Self-help books, movies, sports), make sure you do even more of that during your time away as that positive attitude can really bring a smile to your partner and make things a lot better.

2.  Pray pray pray

Can’t emphasise this enough. There is something unique about turning towards a higher power for guidance, for solace, for peace. During a long distance relationship, things no doubt get stressful and to be able to pray for each other, your families, and of course your relationship is fundamentally important towards your wellbeing.

3.  Regular communication

Again, a bit of common-sense of course but communication is deeply undervalued. The amount of times I tell those who are looking for a spouse to physically meet them rather than doing it over the internet. The communication (verbal, body, emotional) from physically meeting someone is so much easier to express than over a virtual medium. The same applies in this sphere too. Communication breakdown can happen over WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype. Make sure you not only speak regularly but see each other regularly. If you cannot see each other, than just talk. If you can’t talk, than text.  But make sure it is regular and clear.

4.  Visual aids

Photos, videos, montages, Skype.  These things are so important especially from a male perspective where physical intimacy is generally valued higher than emotional intimacy. Make sure you send photos of yourself. They don’t have to have a filter or have been airbrushed in any way at all. Just be yourself. Be a selfie addict for your significant other. Have a Snapchat story just for them (if that’s your sort of thing), creative videos, photo-montages, anything to remind your spouse that you are thinking of him/her.

5.  Keeping things fresh

In communicating with your spouse, make sure you keep things fresh. Don’t do the same old routine every day or you end up coming across as boring. Have a Skype date night, make an entire story using just emojis, keep your other half laughing and smiling. These little things may not seem like much but it can make a world of difference to them.

6.  Keep occupied

An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Keep busy, keep active, focus on the horizon. It’s incredible how easy it can be to get sad or depressed about your situation when you’re bored.  Your mind wonders and you only begin thinking of him/her and how much you miss them and before you know it, you’ve ended up in the “Bridget Jones” mode.

7.  A personal touch

Adding a personal touch to everything you do, say, or give can make a tremendous impact on your spouse. Whether it is an old fashioned written letter or a personalised gift, make your mark on them with your own thumbprint. It can be an embroidered polo shirt, a personalised towel set, a piece of jewellery that reminds them of you, a piece of artwork, anything that gives them a bit of a lift and the comfort of familiarity.

8.  The countdown calendar

Keeping a countdown calendar is generally a hit and miss. Some couples find it extremely useful and some the complete opposite. I’m generally of the school of thought that as long as you can keep looking at that calendar with a glass half full attitude, then the days go by quickly.

9.  Healthy lifestyle

Stay active and keep fit. You don’t want a scenario where your partner sees you physically for the first time in months to find a bit of a pot belly. Not only do you want to look good for your partner but physical exercise helps in releasing endorphins, the hormone responsible for your overall happiness and mental wellbeing. You’ll feel alive after a good round of exercise.

10.  Take stock and be grateful

Humans are never grateful enough. Always look back at how much you’ve been through together, how this time is temporary, and be grateful that your relationship will be and is already a lot stronger than other couples. Be grateful for the time you have together, for your relationship, and be grateful that your creator has got you this far and no doubt will support you both always.

This post is in association with Muslim Vibe. Check out the website for more articles and blogs. https://themuslimvibe.com

34 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

South African Match! #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Halima and I'm from Gauteng, South Africa and my husband (Arshad) is from Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa; we are both South African Indians.

He liked my profile on muzmatch on the 8th of April 2018 and on the 9th we started chatting and Alhamdulillah, today we are husband and wife.

We did our Nikah last month (March 9th 2019).

About a month before I joined muzmatch I remember speaking to my mother in the kitchen as we cooked supper and she had full confidence that I'd be getting married soon.

I told her that I felt that maybe I'm just not meant to get married and be happy, taking into consideration that I personally felt like one could never find a decent man whose intention is to make Nikah in this day and age.

My Moulana had recommended that I join Nikah/Muslim match-making groups and muzmatch populated amongst my searches, so I downloaded the app and registered. After a while I had lost hope so I deleted the app from my phone but did not deactivate my profile.

It was a Monday morning, I had woken up to get ready for work,

I checked my phone and I had an email notification from muzmatch which read "Arshad likes you".

I was quite surprised; I looked at his profile and his biography was quite captivating but it seemed so surreal - this was too good to be true.

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I used the link in his bio to view his Facebook profile, we had a mutual friend which was my cousin that also resides in Kwa-Zulu Natal, so I felt a bit more assured that this is definitely real considering that I had started to think that this could potentially be a catfish.

We started chatting that very morning and there was an instant click. It felt like we were long lost friends because of how well we understood each other and could complete each others sentences. We had the same interests and the same intention; we could speak for hours on end without running out of things to say.

We had realized that we are most definitely soulmates.

Within 2 weeks he called my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. In July 2018 (21st), I booked a flight to visit him and his mum for the day and after spending time together we knew that this was the right decision and that Allah SWT had created us for each other.

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We then saw each other once again in August 2018 (25th - A surprise for my 21st birthday planned by him and my mum); and again in November 2018 when he flew up to attend my younger sister's wedding with his mum, younger sister and brother-in-law.

Slowly the long distance had become difficult, our younger sisters were both already married and settled and we started wondering when would we actually get married. In February this year he decided to relocate to Gauteng and found a temporary job.

His dad visited my parents and they decided to set a Nikah date, Alhamdulillah once the date was set everything fell into place by the will of Allah. He found a job as a PC Engineering lecturer and we were able to find our own place with our parents help and support.

Today I am happily married, living my dream with my husband and I have wonderful in-laws that love me as much as they love Arshad.

The most important quality I wanted in a husband was someone that could take my family as his own and Alhamdulillah I found that in Arshad.

We are now a huge happy family Alhamdulillah.

Jazak'Allah muzmatch! Arshad has found me due to the creation of this wonderful app (He always says that he found me, not the other way around).

I would advise everyone to put their trust and faith in Allah SWT, never give up hope that Allah SWT will send the one who is meant for you when the time is right - for Allah is the greatest of planners. May all the other individuals find their spouses through this app as well Insha'Allah.

Halima & Arshad

5 days ago

Egyptian Romance #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Yasmeen and I found my husband, Taymoor, on muzmatch on the last day of last ramadan. We were both divorced.

The first time we talked on muzmatch was in June and we got married one month later in August 2018. I always wanted to send our story to inspire others who are searching for a good husband and wife.  

We are both Egyptians, from Cairo, we even work & live very near to each others in New Cairo city. I am a digital marketing manager and Taymoor is an IT manager. I am 37 years old and he is 40.  

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I have a daughter who is 12 years old, and I was searching for a real Muslim man who would be a good husband and father. Finally I found Taymoor, who is a good man and a good Muslim, he is very kind.

I am telling my friends that I found someone who really looks like me from the inside.  He was divorced and also has a kid, who is 5 years old. When we first chatted on muzmatch we spoke for over 6 hours, he was surprised much we got on, he even thought that this was a prank!

I couldn't believe that I finally found the man I was looking for. The first time we met, was after Eid al futr, in the House of Cocoa, as Taymoor knew that I loved chocolate. We talked about ourselves for over six hours, I did not want to leave and neither did he.

After we met I told my family and friends, and he did too. He and his family visited us and we got married in only two months, I never imagined that I would find my soulmate and marry him that fast.

I always wanted to find a man to trust and love, after being a single mom for years, I found out that my dream man was hard to find, but alhamdullah I found him on your app.  

Alhamdullah, we are very happy together, my daughter lives with us and his son visits us on the weekends. You cannot imagine how much I am now recommending muzmatch to all my friends.

It didn't even take me long to find my husband. I used the app for almost one month or less.

I am so happy alhamdullah now that I married a real muslim I always wanted.  

6 days ago

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Close Call #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Sara and I just wanted to thank muzmatch and let you know that I finally got engaged on 24th December 2018 and found my Fiance - Ghazunfar on the App.  

We are really happy Alhamdulilah and just wanted to thank you for creating a platform for Muslims to find a suitable match for marriage!    

I believe it's a real blessing because initially we matched but we didn't talk as he hadn't read my messages and was not appearing online. After around 4 weeks, I unmatched however after some weeks I logged in and I came across his profile again. After some giving it some thought I decided to rematch and give it a try again.

The next day he replied to me and the is history.  Its been a almost a year since we matched on Muzmatch and we have set the Nikkah date which will be 1st March 2019 in Rawalpindi, Pakistan.  

Our families are very happy and we are looking forward to entering into the blessed union of marriage Insha'Allah. We just wanted to say keep up the good work, may Allah bless you and request that you keep us in prayers.  

One last thing to everyone using the  muzmatch App - please do not give up, there is someone out there for us all!  

6 days ago

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