Why are People Not Liking Your Profile and What You Can Do to Change it!

This week’s guest blog is written by lifestyle coach and author Nasema Begum.

  • Find out why your profile is keeping you single and how to transform it to attract the right spouse
  • Is your profile not returning the results you expected? Time to see how you can improve your personal brand

So you’ve done it!  You’ve finally created your Muzmatch profile, and you are on your way to securing the deal and getting married but there’s one glitch – you have no idea how to fill in an online profile and stand out from the crowd.

You try and think of something clever and witty but it’s an epic fail, or worse still you are sitting there laughing at your own jokes. In the end,  you throw in some very obvious information like ‘My name is… I really like to find a person similar to me..’ and you’re done! The only thing you have going for you with this approach is hope, and some luck.

You are your brand!

Yes, you are a brand!  How? I hear you ask? Well, we recognise brands from their logos and image. That means you are your logo and the impression your profiles leaves is your image. So what does your profile say about you? I mean, what does it really say about you through your words and images… does it tell singles you’re charming, lovable and a great potential spouse or that you’re creepy, defensive and patronising.  Does your profile dazzle or a does it disappoint?

Just like a brand you need to be recognised as a potential spouse, within a dense crowd of single muslims.  How? By being totally and completely unique…by being you because there is only one you!  Be your true self by talking about your unique talents, aspirations, and activities you enjoy. Singles want to know why they should marry you, not why you should marry them! Just don’t lie or exaggerate … it leaves you and your brand image in tatters.

Here are a few tips I’ve picked up that create a compelling profile and helped others to raise their game. Want to draw  in potential spouses and give you the best shot on Muzmatch?

Add some persuasion power to your Profile Picture

First impressions really do matter! I know, I know, firstly that’s stating the obvious and secondly, looks aren’t that important. It’s about a person’s character and personality and yes I agree, to some extent. Let’s look at it this way – when we meet someone new, we make a judgment about that person within 5 seconds based on their appearance, body language, and mannerisms. It’s the same with profile pictures. And now you know why your profile picture is so big in the muzmatch app! In my opinion, blurring out your picture means you lose out big time.

How to create a killer profile picture:

  • Backgrounds: go to a place that shows your interests. If you’re a foodie, go to your favorite restaurant and take a picture with an interesting or intriguing background. It will grab singles’ attention and help strike up a conversation.
  • Ask a friend: get them to take the perfect picture for you; keep it natural, smile and show your true self.
  • High resolution: a high-quality image means you’ll have a clear picture, just make sure it’s not too close up!
  • Additionally, don’t forget to look directly at the camera, pick a good angle with good lighting and make sure you’re the only one in the picture. The last thing you want is to be mistaken for your friend… Whoops!

I know it’s easy to use photos you already have so here are a few to avoid:

  • Nights out: you know those dark, grainy and hazy pictures; some appear to be from a heavy night out which leaves singles wondering what exactly happened and was it halal?… Uh-Oh!
  • Holidays: these pictures are great for memories, but a photo of you squinting in the sun can leave singles thinking you’re moody!
  • Selfies: we all love a good selfie, especially when you’ve got a great angle but it cuts of part of your head and face – they’re great for social media but not for a dating profile.
  • Family gatherings: pictures with your and nieces and nephews are great, but if you’re divorced, singles may think they’re your children and keep swiping… Oops!

One great picture is all you need but before you add more, ask yourself the question: ‘do my pictures add value or create confusion?’

Seal the deal with your sizzling bio

So your profile picture has got their attention. Now it’s time to blow them away with your vibrant and attention-grabbing bio just to match your personality!

There are hundreds if not thousands of bios. Reading them can get so boring; it puts singles to sleep Why? Because they all say the same thing over and over again! It’s no wonder they keep swiping!  Here’s how to create a genuine and refreshing bio that not only keeps singles engaged but leaves them wanting to know more.

Take your time: think about what you want to write. Talk about what’s important in your life and why. So if you’re looking for a family orientated person who wants children, you could say:

‘I love spending time with my family, especially my nieces and nephews. I want them to grow up in a loving environment and I want to be someone that they turn to for help and support.’

This tells singles family life is important and implies you want to be a reliable, loving parent at some point. Great qualities in a spouse, right?

Instead of:

‘I’m a loving person and I want a family of my own one day’

which one is more engaging?

  • Show your personality: if you’re a funny person, instead of telling people you’re funny, be funny.
  • Positive attitude: just be positive, unless you want singles to run screaming in the opposite direction! Who wants to marry a grumpy and condescending old fart?!
  • Ask a trusted friend: preferably someone single to check and read through your profile. Don’t forget to check basic grammar and spelling, you don’t want to come across like your lazy!

A few things to avoid:

  • Quoting Islamic hadiths or Quranic ayahs: it gets boring pretty quick especially when you’ve read the same references about ’being created in pairs’ and ‘its half our deen’ for the 100th time… Argh!
  • Repetition: Muzmatch app already tells people, for example, how practicing you are and your ethnic heritage… Don’t tell us what’s already said! Tell us something new.
  • One word or incomplete sentences: it just shows you couldn’t be bothered and you’re not serious… swipe!

Your profile is a reflection of who you are, so shows your best self and make it genuine. It will really come across in the words and tone you use! I know dating as a Muslim can be stressful and frustrating, so just enjoy the process, make it fun and interesting because guess what, that alone makes you more attractive!

What tips would you give to other singles? What’s worked for you? What should singles avoid? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

As The Dating Coach Nasema Begum helps singles to powerfully navigate the halal dating scene with easy, so they can to meet and marry their soulmate. Nasema has been trained by coaching giants in the Muslim and non Muslim world. She is also the co-author of the number one best-seller The Muslim Entrepreneur Mind. You can download her FREE ebook Unstoppable Confidence: 13 POWERFUL steps to Happiness and Life on Your Terms at nasemabegum.com

23 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

South African Match! #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Halima and I'm from Gauteng, South Africa and my husband (Arshad) is from Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa; we are both South African Indians.

He liked my profile on muzmatch on the 8th of April 2018 and on the 9th we started chatting and Alhamdulillah, today we are husband and wife.

We did our Nikah last month (March 9th 2019).

About a month before I joined muzmatch I remember speaking to my mother in the kitchen as we cooked supper and she had full confidence that I'd be getting married soon.

I told her that I felt that maybe I'm just not meant to get married and be happy, taking into consideration that I personally felt like one could never find a decent man whose intention is to make Nikah in this day and age.

My Moulana had recommended that I join Nikah/Muslim match-making groups and muzmatch populated amongst my searches, so I downloaded the app and registered. After a while I had lost hope so I deleted the app from my phone but did not deactivate my profile.

It was a Monday morning, I had woken up to get ready for work,

I checked my phone and I had an email notification from muzmatch which read "Arshad likes you".

I was quite surprised; I looked at his profile and his biography was quite captivating but it seemed so surreal - this was too good to be true.

Wintery iPhone Flat Lay Mock Up
Photo by Emma Matthews / Unsplash

I used the link in his bio to view his Facebook profile, we had a mutual friend which was my cousin that also resides in Kwa-Zulu Natal, so I felt a bit more assured that this is definitely real considering that I had started to think that this could potentially be a catfish.

We started chatting that very morning and there was an instant click. It felt like we were long lost friends because of how well we understood each other and could complete each others sentences. We had the same interests and the same intention; we could speak for hours on end without running out of things to say.

We had realized that we are most definitely soulmates.

Within 2 weeks he called my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. In July 2018 (21st), I booked a flight to visit him and his mum for the day and after spending time together we knew that this was the right decision and that Allah SWT had created us for each other.

Photo by Ross Parmly / Unsplash

We then saw each other once again in August 2018 (25th - A surprise for my 21st birthday planned by him and my mum); and again in November 2018 when he flew up to attend my younger sister's wedding with his mum, younger sister and brother-in-law.

Slowly the long distance had become difficult, our younger sisters were both already married and settled and we started wondering when would we actually get married. In February this year he decided to relocate to Gauteng and found a temporary job.

His dad visited my parents and they decided to set a Nikah date, Alhamdulillah once the date was set everything fell into place by the will of Allah. He found a job as a PC Engineering lecturer and we were able to find our own place with our parents help and support.

Today I am happily married, living my dream with my husband and I have wonderful in-laws that love me as much as they love Arshad.

The most important quality I wanted in a husband was someone that could take my family as his own and Alhamdulillah I found that in Arshad.

We are now a huge happy family Alhamdulillah.

Jazak'Allah muzmatch! Arshad has found me due to the creation of this wonderful app (He always says that he found me, not the other way around).

I would advise everyone to put their trust and faith in Allah SWT, never give up hope that Allah SWT will send the one who is meant for you when the time is right - for Allah is the greatest of planners. May all the other individuals find their spouses through this app as well Insha'Allah.

Halima & Arshad

4 days ago

Egyptian Romance #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Yasmeen and I found my husband, Taymoor, on muzmatch on the last day of last ramadan. We were both divorced.

The first time we talked on muzmatch was in June and we got married one month later in August 2018. I always wanted to send our story to inspire others who are searching for a good husband and wife.  

We are both Egyptians, from Cairo, we even work & live very near to each others in New Cairo city. I am a digital marketing manager and Taymoor is an IT manager. I am 37 years old and he is 40.  

Influences of the past —
Stories, desire and a vivid imagination
attract people to this place.
Photo by Simon Matzinger / Unsplash

I have a daughter who is 12 years old, and I was searching for a real Muslim man who would be a good husband and father. Finally I found Taymoor, who is a good man and a good Muslim, he is very kind.

I am telling my friends that I found someone who really looks like me from the inside.  He was divorced and also has a kid, who is 5 years old. When we first chatted on muzmatch we spoke for over 6 hours, he was surprised much we got on, he even thought that this was a prank!

I couldn't believe that I finally found the man I was looking for. The first time we met, was after Eid al futr, in the House of Cocoa, as Taymoor knew that I loved chocolate. We talked about ourselves for over six hours, I did not want to leave and neither did he.

After we met I told my family and friends, and he did too. He and his family visited us and we got married in only two months, I never imagined that I would find my soulmate and marry him that fast.

I always wanted to find a man to trust and love, after being a single mom for years, I found out that my dream man was hard to find, but alhamdullah I found him on your app.  

Alhamdullah, we are very happy together, my daughter lives with us and his son visits us on the weekends. You cannot imagine how much I am now recommending muzmatch to all my friends.

It didn't even take me long to find my husband. I used the app for almost one month or less.

I am so happy alhamdullah now that I married a real muslim I always wanted.  

5 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

Close Call #muzmatchsuccess

My name is Sara and I just wanted to thank muzmatch and let you know that I finally got engaged on 24th December 2018 and found my Fiance - Ghazunfar on the App.  

We are really happy Alhamdulilah and just wanted to thank you for creating a platform for Muslims to find a suitable match for marriage!    

I believe it's a real blessing because initially we matched but we didn't talk as he hadn't read my messages and was not appearing online. After around 4 weeks, I unmatched however after some weeks I logged in and I came across his profile again. After some giving it some thought I decided to rematch and give it a try again.

The next day he replied to me and the is history.  Its been a almost a year since we matched on Muzmatch and we have set the Nikkah date which will be 1st March 2019 in Rawalpindi, Pakistan.  

Our families are very happy and we are looking forward to entering into the blessed union of marriage Insha'Allah. We just wanted to say keep up the good work, may Allah bless you and request that you keep us in prayers.  

One last thing to everyone using the  muzmatch App - please do not give up, there is someone out there for us all!  

5 days ago

Get married, free, on muzmatch.

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