We know finding the one can be hard, which is why we have our agony aunts helping you out and answering your questions along the way!
The two aunties answering your questions today have an acclaimed wealth of knowledge on halal dating and muzmatch, as they have both found love on the app! Found Love On muzmatch has, you guessed it, actually found love and gotten married off muzmatch. While Big Sis Jem is still in that halal dating stage with her muzmatch, and plans to give you advice from her own experiences!
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Even though I am not Muslim I have been dating my girlfriend who is Bengali Muslim, we have kept it secret from her parents for over a year but they have just found out and are completely against us and have told her it's them or me she's told them we have broke up as they wish but looking for advice on the best way to go about it as we both want to continue our relationship
This is a very tough situation. I think it will cause more pain for you both and her parents if you continue the relationship, because they will end up finding out about it again. I think it's best to sit down with her parents, first understand why they disapprove and how will they approve? (e.g if you revert? if you make the relationship halal?)
Having a secret relationship is not the best way to go about it, it will cause more problems later on.
Ideally communication is key and once everyone is clear on everyone's intentions, inshallah you can go from there
Wishing you the best!
I totally agree with Big Sis Jem here, it’s such a hard situation to be in. First of all, her parents finding out that this has been going on behind their backs must have felt like such a huge betrayal, I’m sure they weren't expecting this at all. You do need to try to see if from their point of view, and understand that they’re angry and hurt.
Personally, I feel that you need to give them some time to cool off first and accept it, once that’s done, you need to meet with them and as Big Sis Jem says see why they don’t approve and what it would take to show you’re serious. Lay out your intentions and make it clear. However continuing a secret relationship is the worst way to go about this, it will just make them resent you more.
At the end of the day, they are your girlfriend's parents, they are more likely to listen to her than you, and you need to ask if she’s willing to fight for you and stand up for you? If not… maybe this isn’t something worth fighting for.
Best of luck with this.
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