It's finally here! The agony aunt you never knew you needed 😉
The two aunties answering your questions today have an acclaimed wealth of knowledge on dating and muzmatch, as they have both been on the app. Found Love On muzmatch has, you guessed it, actually found love on muzmatch. While Kissed A Few Frogs has acquired a great amount of insight into red flags and relationship Dos and Don'ts from her own experiences of dealing with all the f***boys.
Disclaimer: Their responses are just their opinions, so follow it at your own risk!
I’m just going to cut to the chase here. I hate first dates. I’ve been on quite a few awful ones really. The guys always seem so perfect when we’re chatting, and then we meet and they want to start getting sexual. Like last time we literally just sat down after ordering at a restaurant and he straight away asks “so are you a virgin?” honestly you cannot make this stuff up.
I was so disgusted I just walked out before my order came. That was the worst date, other dates haven't been that disgusting but rather… awkward. Like once, the guy just wouldn't stop talking about himself. It was so boring.. Honestly I just wanted to leave but I didn’t know how!
Even though I’ve had these bad dating experiences, I haven’t given up on finding a husband, but I do want to know if you have any advice on how to handle a bad date, and with rejecting the person afterwards?
Good for you for walking out! Personally, I would have thrown my water in his face... but that’s just me.
Bad dates can be the worst but as I always say, at least it makes for a good story afterwards. You have to stay positive in these situations because there’s always something to learn from each bad date. For every person that wasn’t the right one for you (or anyone lol), you’re closer to finding the person that is! And these bad dates are teaching you what you do and don’t want in someone.
However, it’s the worst when you’ve had a bad time on a date but the other person thought it went really well and is super keen for another date. I always feel really bad. But there’s nothing you can do tbh, you can’t go along with it because that wouldn’t be fair to you or them. It’s best to cut things off early when you know that it’s not going to work so that they can continue their search to find the right one for them. Leading someone on won’t help anyone.
My number one tip for not having bad dates, is to avoid going for dinner at all costs. Sitting across from a total stranger makes the whole thing just feel like an awkward interview. First dates should be fun, casual and SHORT. Go for a walk in the park or go for coffee. Something that can end quickly if things aren’t going well. And if things are going great then you can just extend it and go for food.
Keep your head up and focus on the positives, the right ones out there!
That is appalling, I can’t believe guys actually think it’s ok to say that. Unfortunately there are guys out there that are just disgusting. In regards to the awkward first dates… that also sucks, it sounds like the guy you met up with was quite arrogant and self centred...or he may have been nervous and couldn't stop himself from talking. Either way it’s good that you have your priorities straight and know that if you’re not interested in someone you want to end it rather than stringing them along.
Leaving a date is definitely awkward and thinking of an excuse can be hard, my top tip to you would be to plan the date strategically from the start. Meet at a coffee shop for a drink rather than getting a meal, as you can easily leave after the drink if you’re not really feeling him.
Another tip is to organise other plans after your date e.g. meeting up with friends or family, so you really can only stay with your date for that allotted time period. If you didn't like the date then afterwards you can text them and tell them the truth, that you don’t see this going anywhere and you shouldn't meet up again...or you could just do it at the end of the date; tell them that it was nice meeting them but you don’t want to waste their time. There’s nothing wrong with it. Honesty is the best policy after all.
My final words of wisdom would be: Video call them first a few times to check that they’re actually good guys, that the chemistry is there etc. If they really are after sex, most likely they will mention it through the video call, so you can weed those guys out a lot quicker.
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