Dating apps come with frustrations, and many users are downloading, deleting and re-downloading the apps.
Dating-app fatigue is a common problem, as millennials have been on the apps for years, many feeling overworked by how much time they spend on them, and how little happiness and success they receive.
Before deleting the app another time, pause and see if there is anything you can change about your approach.
This post is geared towards male users of Muslim dating apps, but can apply to females too.
Nothing makes a better first impression than a great photo. Studies show that women spend about 1/10th of a second to form an impression of you in a photo.
In this split second, she is gaging your personality and lifestyle. She is subconsciously assessing your posture, facial expression and the vibe she gets.
An ideal profile comprises of these photos:
✓Body shot — showing your full body, to convey what you look like
✓Picture of you doing something you enjoy doing, such as basketball, hiking, rock climbing, etc.
There are certain types of photos that are overdone and should be avoided in order to stand out in this competitive environment:
● Photos taken with Snapchat filters
Whether you’re using it to smoothen and lighten your face, or add puppy ears which also change your face structure…girls know the power of a Snapchat filter, and know that is not how you actually look.
There is slight deception here, and some women may dismiss you as a potential match.
A study conducted by Hinge said that if you are using Snapchat filters in your photo, you are 90% less likely to get a like.
● Photos with sunglasses on
What are you hiding? There's a lack of trust already.
I get it, you feel cool in your shades. However, when most (or all) of your pictures are of you wearing sunglasses, we can’t help but wonder: What are you hiding? There is a lack of trust here already. This is especially not a good option for your main profile photo.
The same study conducted by Hinge found that you are 41% less likely to get a like if you post a photo wearing sunglasses.
● Photos taken in front of a car
Are we supposed to assume you own that luxury car? We don’t. Humble people are attractive, and humble people don’t brag.
● Car selfies
These are very popular. Most are taken from the wrong angles and end up looking like you have a double chin (which you probably don’t have) and dark circles (which may not be as bad as they look).
● Bathroom selfies
This isn’t MySpace, it’s muzmatch. Women are turned off by bathroom mirror selfies, as well as gym selfies.
Many women find shirtless selfies offensive. They also don’t like racy or overtly sexual photos. Keep it classy.
●Only one photo
It’s 2019, and if you have just one photo — you’re probably fake. Many women have been catfished before and will swipe left on you.
● Photos that don’t look like you
This is the most important. Your photos should be accurate and recent.
If you don’t look like your photos 80% of the time — it’s not you. Don’t post it.
You may think you’ll get your foot in the door, and then wow her with your personality — but you won’t.
You’ll annoy her with your dishonesty, instead.
You may land the first date, but you likely won’t get a second. Lies are never a healthy way to start a relationship, anyways.
After you’ve shown what you look like, it’s time to tell.
In this section, you don’t have to share your life story or lay down your values. Use this space to paint a better picture of yourself.
A non-substantial bio that is vague or dull shows that you aren’t serious about this process. Some girls will not match with someone who hasn’t written much about himself, or is being off-putting.
✓What you do
✓Where you live
✓Where you grew up
✓Something fun about you. This can be a fun hobby such as your passion for bowling. Or, it can be a fun fact about you, that you won a cooking competition, or you’re excited about scoring tickets to Hamilton, or that you just got back from a trip to Thailand, etc.
✓Sentences with correct grammar:
Bad grammar, spelling and punctuation is off-putting, and a deal breaker for many.
A Plenty of Fish survey concluded great conversation and grammar are the most sought after elements in dating.
✓Honest details about yourself:
People don’t always look like their photos, they add inches to their height, mislead their body type/weight, and even lie about jobs/careers.
If you’re 5'8.5, put 5'8, and certainly do not put 5'10. It’s better to underpromise and over deliver.
Very importantly, do not lie about your age, education, career, or interests, in order to get a girls’ attention. If you feel you have to do that to impress a girl — it’s not worth it.
● Listing traits you don’t want:
“Hello! If you are a crazy hijabi please swipe left!”
If you feel so strongly about a specific type of person, just don’t match with them. This can turn off other girls you want to match with.
● Seeming jaded or uninterested:
Showing that you are bitter and have walls up is a bad start.
“All my friends are married now, so here I am.”
“Testing the waters”
“Giving this a shot let’s see what happens”
● Jokes that might be funny to you, may also have a negative connotation:
“Your dad won’t like me, but you will”
“All the crazy girls are taken, I’m looking for the crazy I can deal with”
Every girls’ app is lined with infinite variations and repetitions of the word “hi.” The most common first messages she gets are:
"hey whats up”
“hey how r u”
When an acquaintance passes by at the work kitchen and says “hi” to you. What are you going to do?
You will likely nod, smile, or say “hi” back. And continue walking.
‘Hi’ is not a conversation starter.
Don’t expect her to lead the conversation, especially if you haven’t provided much information on your profile to work with.
Start the message by saying something that may get more of a response. Ask something more personal, based on her profile using her name:
“Hey [insert name], what’s your favorite spot for Asian food in NYC?”
“Hey [insert name], where are you hiking in your third picture?”
“[Insert name], your job sounds interesting! What exactly do you do?”
If she hasn’t provided much information of herself for you to go off of (shame on her), you can ask something generic and try to get a conversation going off of what information you get.
“Hey what did you have for lunch today?”
“Hey, do you have any plans for the weekend?”
There you have it! If you give the app a REAL shot by putting time and effort in creating your profile, and make a genuine effort to connect with people, you will have a much more satisfying experience. You’ll be off the app in no time!