In 2020, masterful messaging is an essential skill. If you know what to write in the message and how to write it, you have higher chances to succeed in online dating and life.
Do you send a bunch of messages every day but get no replies? You are probably making one the following mistakes.
Let’s discuss common messaging mistakes and ways to avoid them.
Why do people use dating apps? They are looking for attention. They want their personalities to be noticed. Obviously, they get mad when they receive non-personalized messages.
Do you usually copy-paste the same message and send it to multiple people? If so, don’t be surprised that your approach doesn’t work. To impress a potential match, you should add a personal touch to every message you send. You should review the person’s profile in detail and then ask a relatable question or make a relevant compliment.
For instance, stop writing standard phrases like “you have beautiful eyes”. Be specific and personalize your message and put it this way: “you have beautiful hazel eyes with an auburn hint that charm at first sight”. Then your match (a lucky owner of beautiful brown eyes) will have no doubts that this message was addressed to him or her.
No matter how smart and successful you are, no matter how many hobbies you have, don’t talk about yourself too much.
People are egocentric. They prefer to talk about themselves. They don’t like to listen to other people that much. If you keep talking and talking about yourself, your match will get bored and quit the conversation.
For keeping a dialogue going, you should ask questions. You should show your date that you do really want to know him or her better.
Let’s clarify one important thing. You need to ask your match some questions to keep the conversation going.. But you shouldn’t ask too many questions in one message.
Let’s say a girl has written you a message: “I moved to New York two years ago”. You need to ask her just one or two simple questions like: “What inspired you to move to The Big Apple?” and “What do you like about New York the most?”.
Don’t bombard your date with a bunch of questions in one message: “Why did you decide to move to New York? Was it a challenging decision? What did your mother say? Are you happy in New York? Do you want to live in New York all your life?”. If your message looks like this one, it’s unlikely you will get a reply.
Using emojis, you can express your feelings more precisely. If you tend to add one or two relevant emojis to every message – that’s a good thing.
However, if you substitute every second word or phrase with emojis, you make a big mistake. As you know, emojis are displayed differently on different devices. And if you use Android and your match uses iPhone, your message might be misinterpreted.
Also, you should understand that not all people like emojis. For some potential matches, your messages may look more like rebus puzzles that they don’t want to solve.
So next time you’re writing a message, think twice before adding this or that visual symbols. Try to express your ideas by using words rather than emojis.
When it comes to messaging on the apps, grammar rules are important. Well, some minor mistakes and typos are allowed. But in general, your messages should be written correctly.
If you make a few mistakes in every single sentence, it’s not okay. Your match may think that you are not that smart or, even worse, that your account is a scam. Also, he or she may assume that if you don’t bother to proofread your messages, you don’t respect a person you are talking to.
If your grammar skills are not high, or if you usually write on the go and make lots of typos, start using online grammar checkers. Take advantage of new technologies and proofread your messages in a hassle-free way.
Do you tend to use buzzwords and professional jargon in your everyday speech? You should be careful with that when chatting on dating apps. Otherwise, your date will feel like you’re speaking a different language.
Let’s say you are a programmer. You write a message: “I’ve had a hard day at work. In the morning, I’ve been trying to fix the Hydra bug. And at the end of the day, our team has finally defined a Jenga code.”
If your date has never worked in an IT company, she or he will not get a clue of what you are talking about. Jargon words like “Hydra bug” and “Jenga code” are familiar only to programmers. So if you want to get a reply from your date, you should rewrite your message using simple words.
Do you make the messaging mistakes mentioned above? No worries! You can fix them quickly.
Once you get aware of what you do wrong, you can find a way to improve your messaging style. Do you make lots of typos? Use free proofreading tools. Have you been using jargon words without even noticing? Start choosing simpler word choices.
Learn a lesson from your mistakes and become a messaging rock star. You can do it!
Author: Daniela McVicker
Daniela McVicker is a psychologist and family counselor. Her passion is writing about leading a healthy family life and helping people enjoy their lives to the fullest.