Why Me?

Sometimes it feels like it’s just too much – these fluctuations in our iman, the repeated sinning, the feeling that “I just don’t deserve Allah’s mercy.” The tests always feel like punishments. There is a constant worry about the future: my marriage, my money, my career, my ummah (community)… And some difficulties just feel like they are too great to overcome. We know we’re not supposed to ask this, but the question at the back of our minds is,

Why me?

We have all heard that we should never despair of Allah’s Mercy. And on the surface, we try not to, but Shaytaan (the Devil) has a trick. We tend to despair of ourselves and our incapacity to change things, especially the inner turmoil that we feel. And the effect of this is basically the same as despairing of Allah’s mercy. We do not always accept that Allah can take us out of the situation we are in and we don’t need to ‘deserve’ the trouble; Allah isn’t punishing us and we don’t need to be perfect.

This doesn’t mean, however, that we shouldn’t strive, or take ourselves to account when we do mess up. The key is to develop our relationship with Allah during that trouble.

If we know Allah, no situation is too hopeless. No sadness is ever permanent.

We perceive trials as they are meant to be perceived – as tests of our trust in Allah, forcing us to put our knowledge into practice and bringing us closer to Him. These trials could potentially be a punishment too, that is if we let it affect us negatively by completely turning away from Him because of our sadness. But our awareness of our own state and our understanding of Allah’s Mercy allows us to turn the punishment into something positive that is manifested through repentance to Allah, alongside increasing in hasanat (good deeds) in order to erase the bad deeds.

The first exercise is for us to consciously realize that Allah knows. Whatever grief we go through, whatever hardship we endure, we must understand that we are never alone. Even if we feel abandoned by the world and those closest to us, Allah is there. He reminds us in the Qur’an,

Fear not. Indeed, I am with you; I hear and I see. (20:46)

As long as we begin by recognizing that Allah is with us and He is close to us, there remains a solution to our inner worries. There are things we need to know in order to develop our relationship with Allah. Then there are things we need to do in order to maintain that closeness to Allah. And finally, there are things we need to aspire for to achieve the ideal relationship with our Lord.

Note: some of us suffer from clinical depression or similar medical conditions, and this needs to be dealt with by a professional. Working on our relationship with Allah no doubt helps, but sometimes more than a spiritual fix may be needed.

Source of inspiration: Virtual Mosque

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58 Responses

  1. Hayder says:

    Great Article

  2. Jan says:

    Hello girl

  3. Khalid says:

    Salam alikom
    Im Khalid im 22 years old and im looking for marry if u really serious and interesting just email me or contact
    Gazakallah kheir

  4. Gwendolyn says:

    Where do I begin… The article is very informative. The realisation is that too many Muslims “Born Into the Faith” are NOT on fire about living their life within the Rules set forth a written in the Quran.
    Too many men on this sight want to meet and date the nicest, prettiest most well educated women they can find so they can turnaround a treat her like a 4th. Rate Hooker.
    They are asking women to come to their homes and more before they have the opportunity to meet her, lay down mutual guidelines and interact with Family and Friends. Too many are Not practicing but the Converts from other religions are sincere about their love for Islam.

    • Faisal says:

      It works both ways. Whilst I deplore those men, I’ve always been genuine and sincere; but I find that women on this site and many other sites are just not genuine and sincere. They are constantly playing games and only after money. You’ve seen the first men; I’ve seen the worst women.

    • Hassan says:

      Well what are these girls doing matching with these “nice men” in the first place? Why do these girls ignore and not match with the sincere and genuine guys? Or if you do match and find that he is sincere you stop responding to his messages and basically make him go through yet another rejection? Sounds to me you girls are actively seeking these these players and then go on to complain with comments such as this when you get treated badly. The genuine sincere guys are too boring for you I guess huh?

      • Imran says:

        Girls are hypocrites end of they clearly are more shallow then guys and want looks before anything

        • The Librarian says:

          Really? Then in the Muslim community, why do I see average low earning/unemployed fat men with slim beautiful women but not the other way around?

    • Bushy says:

      Hey I agree .. to many men want to date . Too fussy . They get offended very easy . One guy on this app told me he wanted me to live with him prior to marriage in separate room . That was disrespectful to me . He not practicing in eyes . He could easily ditch woman. And the woman would probably get the blame . . People forgetting that women always suffers mentally . Other men try to want constant get to know dates . And don’t want to compromise . It’s his rules and his ways . . I ditch these guys in an instant . Would never sell myself to someone looking for control.

    • Imran says:

      This is BS sorry but me and my mates who all have good jobs are not players are genuinely nice guys and don’t look for much in a girl don’t want a model hardly get any matches here it’s clear on the app girls want looks over personality there was a study on other dating apps such as tinder which shows 20% of the guys got matches and those were the ones with better jobs and better looking. So 80% of guys hardly get matches whereas the girls on these apps get way more matches and are chased after so maybe they get an ego boost who knows? My friend has actually made a profile with a lesser known model to prove it. My friend got under 5 matches in the first week he was on muzmatch this male model profile got over 80 matches in one week with 5 instant matches from girls absolutely hilarious and proves the point that girls want looks first and BS in their profile about wanting a genuine nice guy only comes into play if your good looking FACT.

      • Zainabb says:

        Hello Imran..there are girls out here that are genuine. When i joined muzmatch i thought i wil get genuine men. But, most of them who liked me and i thought they fitted me and my expectations i liked them back. But, what happened next is that i exchanged my number with two or three and they all turned like guys who just wanted to date. They arent sure of what they are looking for. I am sure you must hv met some not so genuine girls too. But, even men here are hust doing tp snd most of them just want to fulfill their lust. Its really sad that guys do this on a halal site and waste our time. I hope you find a good girl for yourself.

    • Myname says:

      That’s why I attract to a revert person more, because they know the true value about Islam

  5. Nas says:

    This is so relevant, it’s a constant battle to stop defeatist thoughts. But it’s a great reminder that Allâh swt is the best of planners 😊

  6. Zahra Ahmed says:

    Subhan’Allah. Great article

  7. muneer says:

    MASHALLAH good article

  8. Zaki says:

    سبحانالله، indeed everyone goes through these situations and it is part of life, so are uncertainties. But sometimes, even I go through similar thoughts, but Allah has mysterious ways to acknowledge our feelings, sometimes you hear imam after magrib Salah addresses the very exact situation I’m in and how to respond to these uncertainties and it makes me wonder why is imam discussing the very things which I’m currently going through? May be Allah put that in their heart and guide us through mysterious ways.

  9. Jay says:

    I think what is too much is that Muzmatch has to charge for both swipes and instant messages which is a total ripoff!

    Other websites such as Muslima charge only once and provide access to all features for paying members not to mention that they have a direct phone line where a Muslim can call and get instant customer service! Unlike Muzmatch where one has only email access to customer service and is left waiting which sometimes lasts longer than 48 hours.

    Another issue is that Muzmatch refuses to display when last someone has logged in which it claims is for customer safety and I find that to be total nonsense. For, publicly displayed photos are much riskier than login data. The reason it is an issue is due to the fact that when one has to pay more than 4 Canadian dollars to a member who has not logged in for more than three months and probably abandoned the dating app all together then the money goes down the drain. No one will make such an investment for a simple message if they know that the recipient does not login anymore and thus will no receive the message.

    It’s hard enough finding a compatible spouse nowadays, and Muzmatch only makes harder by treating it’s customers as cash cows and providing a casino like platform where one has to pay for any petty service such as even matching back to unmatched members!

  10. Apuk says:

    Mantaf kena bgtt

  11. Kash says:

    Salam to all brothers & sister,
    whom reading ,and those who felt this deep article and felt “touched “via this delicate deep words of truth that I feel ☝️specially the remarks about those whom are born as a Muslim and don’t know how much privileged they are to fall in that category to be a Muslim.

    I am one of those who feels that &
    I couldn’t hold my self writing this comment after reading this blog,as I am a implosive individual who cannot shy “look away or hide from the truth.
    I say things without filtering ,what’s in my mind and speak the truth regardless What others thing of me I am first in line to speak to confront the wrongs around me,my honesty most times becomes my weakness,and disadvantages my position when I am speaking from my heart because the time we are living in is at a red zone were devils are dancing in our head and whispering in our ears!!

    We might not realise it until we are involved in wrong doing,but we justify it as it’s okay to do so as other kafurs are doing and following them as we are one of them due to the culture we live in western countries.

    Hey wake up,before it’s to late to undo it to be even excepted by the one a only ”ALLAH” God as we say it in English,some of us are using Allah in every words we speak without really loving him or meaning it from our ♥️hearts.

    I am not a perfect Muslim but my only dream and wish is to be one!!
    There is a saying “Practice makes it perfect 👌🏽saying that ‘most of us are genuinely are looking to find and complete half of our deen😇and searching towards finding the right one and better Muslim then themselves ? to help them self becoming a better and a good Muslim, not just by name but via it’s true teaching of 💯ISLAM!!☝️

    I am one of them Muslims brought up in England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 in the heart of the city and feel lost sometimes were to start?🧐 ‘there’s a old saying’
    IF ‘There is a WILL”there is a WAY”
    nothing impossible”specially when going towards Allah’s path.🙏🏼

    I am trying to better my self everyday and every moment 👍🏼And I am content with my trust in Allah that I will done be a true Muslim then a so called one.

    Please keep me in prayers ‘that we all come to “DEEN SOONER THER LATER”Ameen, Our UMMAH IS IMPORTANT THEN WE 🤔 think!!

    Stay bless & good luck to everybody I’m finding there right match whom can truly bring us happiness & inlighten yourselves towards the right a peaceful way of Islamic life.

    May Allah bless use all and help us guide each other’s from the shaytan’evil of the devils so called the Dajjal The Antichrist 👁.


  12. Ahhad says:

    Mashallah nice article

  13. Charlotte says:

    Great article,
    Am here looking forward to meet a God fearing Man. If it’s Muslim he will promise to teach me basic of Islam

  14. Yasin Jama Abdi says:

    قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

    “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”

  15. Zia sajid says:

    Nice article.👍🏻❤

  16. Riza says:

    My honest opinion is that the article is very relevant. But ultimately this apps gives the single females an upper hand, and also boosts egos. They get to choose out of thousands and forget the respect and managers thought to them by their parents. They start forgetting we are all one faith and instead pick ethnicity first. And also what job you do. To be fair I’ve had a few bad experiences on this app, but ultimately we are in a time that we have no other means of meeting our future partner.

  17. Kozan says:

    Masallah , great article.
    Elhamdurillah we have the almighty allah we believe in 🙏
    I have MS and at times my mobility can be very difficult but i pray to the almighty one Allah every day elhamdurillah and he shows me guidance to happiness within 🙏.

    • Dina says:

      May Allah grant you strength and beautiful patience for what you’re going through, and make a blessed way out for you; and may He surround you with good people always 🙂

  18. Mohammad Umar says:

    Very good Article

  19. Amine says:

    Very good article

  20. Liton ahmed says:

    Ma sha Allah
    Nice article

  21. Ayman Abu Jafor says:

    Really cool and very helpful

  22. Bi says:

    I’m not a good girl. Can I choose a good man?

    • Adnan says:

      Knows your fault is much better than an arrogant person. It shows humbleness so keep it to yourself. You have right to choose good as Allah says believe in his mercy.
      Jazak Allah khair

    • Mourtada says:

      Yes if you find a good man he can give you and help you to change

  23. Zuzu says:

    Mashallah indeed Allah is with us he never gives up on us, and his plans are greater than ours🙏🏽

  24. Syed Ayub Naqvi says:

    Well so impressive Article
    Allah is with Us and our Iman which will lead us toward our distinction
    FEEL free to contact

  25. Anonymous says:

    I found this helpful, feel like I came across it at the right time. Jazakhallah

  26. Eslam says:

    Respect and honest

  27. Yoyo says:

    Great article. Thanks for the remainder . 🤗

  28. Happy says:

    Firstly, GREAT ARTICLE. it resonates with me qnd I habe found my calling. when one feels closer to Allah things fall into place. I am proud to have been born a muslim and although it has taken life experience to appreciate its value, I habe forever been in Ore of Allah, since my birth.

    There are times when we struggle, but life is a test. as a woman, we can become frustrated, but its only becuase we know deep down we are worthy of so much more. And sometimes when we despair, we drop our standards, only to make a mess of an opportunity, when we know we can do so much better. At the end of the day, marriage, children are in the hands of Allah. no ‘man’ or woman can assume they will all habe kids. Kids, regardless of age or gender, not all are guaranteed kids. some of us, are made for bigger things. our purpose is in Allahs hands and will be revealed when the times right. no one should despair.

    Anyway, I was reading doen to some of the comments and took exception to a comment that refered to born muslims needing to be greatful and how converts are more religoon. I take exception to this. for one, not any one muslim is sinfree in this world, lets not pretend. whether youre born a muslim or converted, you are never better or religious than the next person. your and my faith is with Allah and Allah dispises arrogance. and self-rightousness. get off that peddlestool youre on liv, its not islamic. youre not any better than a born muslim, we all are on a journey, so focus on your own. it frustrates me when anyone thinsk they are more religious. we all habe a public face, only Allah sees the one behind closed doors and the ones who believe and love Allah, is humble and says subhanAllah in secret, is one you wouldnt suspect. so neber jidge anyone on face value, you dont know their journey, their struggles or their imama level. its ignorant to assume you know. and that goes for anyone judgemental. back off and focus on your own grave and develope as a better person.

    2ndly. the comment regarding men being abusive on here and wanting to go to womens houses, Allah has promised a ‘lile for like’ a man whos slept around, will only ever marry a woman who was on his own level and vice versa this is mentioned in the Quran. ‘you plan, Allah plans, for Allah is the best of planners’.

    when we bumb into these, keep your head strong, it is a test of our iman. i just block them. and some of them go as far as saying they are praying. which brings me to my first point. dont believe when a person says they are religiois, only Allah knows. and some men use the religion card when their core is evil. but keeping close to Allah, your guy speaks, your imaan reveals things to you. listen to it. and always ask Allah to guide you. As for those who are corrupted, Allah also promises that they people will endure the ‘pain they inflict on other peoples daughters or sons, this will come to their door’, maybe soon, or in the future, it will happen. This is a promise from Allah and if anyone gets caught up in it, its a lesson to learn from but alwaus remember, Allah never lets injustice be unseen, nor never be unpunished. and Allah has promised you will get jistice. and Allah is forever knowing and sees all that anyone does, and knows whats in someones heart, mind and the evil core, this can neber be hidden and Allah will always bring it to their door.

    3rdly. i see a lot of jealous comments about pretty women getting all the attention and something about the pain they suffer is deserved. AstagfirAllah. please be mindful, those who Allah blessed with beaity, have their own struggles, along with those who are less gifted with beauty. Dont hate on these woman, becuase that envy will only affect you and make your life misersble. its unislamic and isnt attractive. j8st beciase someones beautiful, say Mashallah. her struggles one you wont understand beciase you refuse to understand, but like the less fortunate, they also have striggles, stop assuming they habe it easy. Allah said, I will test every single one of you, so regardless of beauty or not, every soul will be tested. and as life brings diffixulties and struggle, why are we not acting like an ummah and supporting each other? so quick to put others down. hence why the prophet pbuh said ‘oh my ummah’. people wake up to reality, we all struggle, this backbiting and bitching, envy and jealousy is an ugly traite to have. giving people evil eyes, wow, why is there such envy? we as an ummah should always say mashallah, rejoice in someones joy and any happiness that they may have, say subhaanAllah, for Allah sees your core. be greatful and stop leading the will of Shatan.

    we are muslims are meant to help each other not drag each other down. Why would Allah grant our wishes when we envy his creation? we wouldnt be ready and we all habe a sepcific purpose, let Allah do his job and focus on being a decent person.

    5thly, the creator of this app made this app to help muslims find someone compatible. dont get me wrong, his costing is extortionate, but the dude spent 100k to get it started, the app does need improvement and logging details should be revealed, i even think reseting should be allowed, but at £20, this is unreasonable as theres not many guys on here, let alone decent. hes still trying to figure that out. but be greatful hes put this 0latform on, at least we have an advancer app, the rest are, lets say, doesnt accomodate some of our modern needs. i want him to filter out men with kids, but he doesnt respond to me. its life.

    anyway, its improving month by month. at least its better than a lot of other apps. just wish hed remove blurred photos.

    which brings me onto another point. when people are too scared to show your photo, why bother using the app, and then theres some guys who want to remain blurred and still talk? are you mad? if youre not happy and confident in yourself, what you got to offer if you can show youre still a boy?

    Anyway Ladies, dont drop your standards, stick at it, otherwise youll regret seeing his mug every morning if you marry the wronv one. and for those men who waste time, women just block them, theyll soon realise we woman dont habe time for child games. theres so many men in this world to choose from, dont limit yourself and dont let a good looking man fool you, they tend to have nothing inbetween their ears. 😂 and have been passed around…. you dont want that 😂

    anyway peace
    great article.

    • theironichypocrite says:

      misandry at its finest.

    • Imran says:

      Seeing his mug every morning looool what about when the guy sees the girl without 10 pounds of make up on messed up hair spotty skin bushy eye brows etc maybe the men are the ones that shouldn’t drop their standards….

      • The Librarian says:

        Maybe men shouldn’t pay much attention to profiles of women wearing makeup and instead choose the women that dislike makeup.

        Then they will know what she looks like.

  29. Ali says:

    Following Islam is good Islam saves people from haram but in real life Islam doesn’t help no one

  30. A.Samad Meman says:

    Mashallah very very great article thank you very much

  31. Kyri says:

    Asalamu alaykum, make up isn’t needed in my opinion, and women should be respected. Yes they are different mentally than men so adapt. May Allah grant us all the most perfect spouses and guide us closer to the deen ameen

  32. Abdul miah says:

    Salaam, could you please get in contact with me on WhatsApp: +447498957278
    Alternatively on Instagram @abdul.miah1
    Regards to me sending you my Marriage CV insha’Allah I look forward to hearing from you.

    Kind regards Abdul.

  33. Why is it so hard to find someone who truly loves you nowadays? Is there such a thing as true love or it’s only in the movies and fairy tales? Why is it that reality mostly is different from expectations?

  34. Myname says:

    Why do nonmuslim man try to get serious with me while the muslim man I try to get in touch didn’t respond me?. It makes me wanna to respond the nonmuslim man cause he’s really being serious, even when I don’t ask what his job is he told me by himself, and he’s a hardworking too. I don’t say this cause I want man to be slave, No. I say this cause it’s important tho. Man who hardworking for his woman is the attractive one, he try to make their relationship work, he try to take the responbility of his woman, man lìke that are really attractive, really. While the muslim man when I try to ask then he’ll get offend (I think). Even I get embarassed to when I ask his job, but I need to ask, even my parents will ask it too so it’s better to ask now by me then later by my mom. Cause I want her permission.

  35. The Librarian says:

    As people, it’s inevitable to feel bouts of anger and pain at God for not giving them for what other people have. They may see those blessed with Husband and kids as less deserving as they are not religious enough, not modest enough…etc. It’s just human nature to compare.

    I say that everyone has something someone else wants. A single person has time, money to spend on themselves and freedom, something that a married person may not have especially if they have kids. If you focus on what you have and be thankful for it, it’s easier to cope with the lack of romantic love in your life.

    After all, we didn’t come on this world for our own enjoyment.

    We came here to be tested for God’s love.

    • The Librarian says:

      As people, it’s inevitable to feel bouts of anger and pain at God for not giving them for what other people have. They may see those blessed with a spouse and kids as less deserving as they are not religious enough, not modest enough…etc. It’s just human nature to compare.
      I say that everyone has something someone else wants. A single person has time, money to spend on themselves and freedom, something that a married person may not have especially if they have kids. If you focus on what you have and be thankful for it, it’s easier to cope with the lack of romantic love in your life.
      After all, we didn’t come in this world for our own enjoyment.
      We came here to be tested for God’s love.

  36. Mizanur says:

    I was open account 2years before but still I haven’t find any responses.

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