Why are people not liking your profile and what you can do to change it!

This week’s guest blog is written by lifestyle coach and author Nasema Begum.

  • Find out why your profile is keeping you single and how to transform it to attract the right spouse
  • Is your profile not returning the results you expected? Time to see how you can improve your personal brand

So you’ve done it!  You’ve finally created your Muzmatch profile, and you are on your way to securing the deal and getting married but there’s one glitch – you have no idea how to fill in an online profile and stand out from the crowd.

You try and think of something clever and witty but it’s an epic fail, or worse still you are sitting there laughing at your own jokes. In the end,  you throw in some very obvious information like ‘My name is… I really like to find a person similar to me..’ and you’re done! The only thing you have going for you with this approach is hope, and some luck.

You are your brand!

Yes, you are a brand!  How? I hear you ask? Well, we recognise brands from their logos and image. That means you are your logo and the impression your profiles leaves is your image. So what does your profile say about you? I mean, what does it really say about you through your words and images… does it tell singles you’re charming, lovable and a great potential spouse or that you’re creepy, defensive and patronising.  Does your profile dazzle or a does it disappoint?  

Just like a brand you need to be recognised as a potential spouse, within a dense crowd of single muslims.  How? By being totally and completely unique…by being you because there is only one you!  Be your true self by talking about your unique talents, aspirations, and activities you enjoy. Singles want to know why they should marry you, not why you should marry them! Just don’t lie or exaggerate … it leaves you and your brand image in tatters.

Here are a few tips I’ve picked up that create a compelling profile and helped others to raise their game. Want to draw  in potential spouses and give you the best shot on Muzmatch?

Add some persuasion power to your Profile Picture

First impressions really do matter! I know, I know, firstly that’s stating the obvious and secondly, looks aren’t that important. It’s about a person’s character and personality and yes I agree, to some extent. Let’s look at it this way – when we meet someone new, we make a judgment about that person within 5 seconds based on their appearance, body language, and mannerisms. It’s the same with profile pictures. And now you know why your profile picture is so big in the muzmatch app! In my opinion, blurring out your picture means you lose out big time.

How to create a killer profile picture:

  • Backgrounds: go to a place that shows your interests. If you’re a foodie, go to your favorite restaurant and take a picture with an interesting or intriguing background. It will grab singles’ attention and help strike up a conversation.
  • Ask a friend: get them to take the perfect picture for you; keep it natural, smile and show your true self.
  • High resolution: a high-quality image means you’ll have a clear picture, just make sure it’s not too close up!  
  • Additionally, don’t forget to look directly at the camera, pick a good angle with good lighting and make sure you’re the only one in the picture. The last thing you want is to be mistaken for your friend… Whoops!  

I know it’s easy to use photos you already have so here are a few to avoid:

  • Nights out: you know those dark, grainy and hazy pictures; some appear to be from a heavy night out which leaves singles wondering what exactly happened and was it halal?… Uh-Oh!
  • Holidays: these pictures are great for memories, but a photo of you squinting in the sun can leave singles thinking you’re moody!
  • Selfies: we all love a good selfie, especially when you’ve got a great angle but it cuts of part of your head and face – they’re great for social media but not for a dating profile.
  • Family gatherings: pictures with your and nieces and nephews are great, but if you’re divorced, singles may think they’re your children and keep swiping… Oops!  

One great picture is all you need but before you add more, ask yourself the question: ‘do my pictures add value or create confusion?’

Seal the deal with your sizzling bio

So your profile picture has got their attention. Now it’s time to blow them away with your vibrant and attention-grabbing bio just to match your personality!

There are hundreds if not thousands of bios. Reading them can get so boring; it puts singles to sleep Why? Because they all say the same thing over and over again! It’s no wonder they keep swiping!  Here’s how to create a genuine and refreshing bio that not only keeps singles engaged but leaves them wanting to know more.

Take your time: think about what you want to write. Talk about what’s important in your life and why. So if you’re looking for a family orientated person who wants children, you could say:

‘I love spending time with my family, especially my nieces and nephews. I want them to grow up in a loving environment and I want to be someone that they turn to for help and support.’

This tells singles family life is important and implies you want to be a reliable, loving parent at some point. Great qualities in a spouse, right?

Instead of:

 ‘I’m a loving person and I want a family of my own one day’ 

which one is more engaging?

  • Show your personality: if you’re a funny person, instead of telling people you’re funny, be funny.
  • Positive attitude: just be positive, unless you want singles to run screaming in the opposite direction!  Who wants to marry a grumpy and condescending old fart?!
  • Ask a trusted friend: preferably someone single to check and read through your profile. Don’t forget to check basic grammar and spelling, you don’t want to come across like your lazy!

A few things to avoid:

  • Quoting Islamic hadiths or Quranic ayahs: it gets boring pretty quick especially when you’ve read the same references about ’being created in pairs’ and ‘its half our deen’ for the 100th time… Argh!
  • Repetition: Muzmatch app already tells people, for example, how practicing you are and your ethnic heritage… Don’t tell us what’s already said! Tell us something new.
  • One word or incomplete sentences: it just shows you couldn’t be bothered and you’re not serious… swipe!

Your profile is a reflection of who you are, so shows your best self and make it genuine. It will really come across in the words and tone you use! I know dating as a Muslim can be stressful and frustrating, so just enjoy the process, make it fun and interesting because guess what, that alone makes you more attractive!

What tips would you give to other singles? What’s worked for you? What should singles avoid? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

As The Dating Coach Nasema Begum helps singles to powerfully navigate the halal dating scene with easy, so they can to meet and marry their soulmate. Nasema has been trained by coaching giants in the Muslim and non Muslim world. She is also the co-author of the number one best-seller The Muslim Entrepreneur Mind. You can download her FREE ebook Unstoppable Confidence: 13 POWERFUL steps to Happiness and Life on Your Terms at nasemabegum.com

The muzmatch app is where Single Muslims meet. Halal, free and fun, thousands of members find their partner on muzmatch with hundreds of weddings taking place around the world. Quality profiles, advanced filters, photo privacy, and cutting edge security make it easy to help you find the ONE.

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20 Responses

  1. Saheed says:

    Asalam alayikum waramotulahi wabarakatuhu to the admin of these apps,Allah shall continue to guide all the admin and blessed everyone of you. My question is why is that some fake people are on the site and I find it so difficult to find my own half of Deen here…. Please help me through.

  2. Sarwar says:

    Really well written and gives great advice!

  3. AK says:

    I received a message from you saying 50 people get married or engaged from muzzmatch each day. Please prove to me how you have got to this figure. Please bear in mind that misrepresentation is illegal.

  4. AK says:

    Also, how can you have the audacity to say that quoting ayahs and hadeeths is boring!!

    Shocking article. I STRONGLY advise you to withdraw those comments

  5. Kamran says:

    Excellent advice! Thank you for scripting that.

    I’ve stopped using Muzmatch as the women are identikit and as dull as a doormat!

    I literally ache to find a woman whose profile does not refer to the fact that she enjoys “movies”, “travelling”, and “shopping”. I play a game with myself seeing if the next profile I come across will refer to them… and, low and behold, they almost always do!

    The ladies are so cliched and lacking in personality that, when I speak to them on the phone, and ask them which countries they’ve been to or would like to travel to, more or less 95% give the identical locations such as Dubai, Istanbul and Morocco.

    If your raison d’etre is sitting in cinemas chewing popcorn, travelling the world and shopping, then you’re not exactly ideal life-partner material for a hard working man.

    When it comes to the profiles, the grammar, the spelling, the linguistic flair, the complete lack of appreciation of anything cultured or refined, all leaves a lot to be desired.

    In all fairness I think it’s more to do with the calibre of the women on the app. We’re talking about the very, very bottom tier.

    The fact that the vast majority are still camping in their parents’ bedrooms in the most impoverished Muslim ghettos in the land – east London, Slough, Watford, Luton and the like – says it all about their calibre.

    • Ahmed says:

      What’s wrong with being from a lower socioeconomic status. Thanks for showing your true colours as someone classist. I think that makes you bottom tier.

      • Nasema says:

        Kamran I agree the quality of singles profile information needs to be improved if they want to find someone compatible. The content of the profiles (specifically shopping etc ) is a reflection of the times.

        Ahmed – I think Kamran has used used sweeping stero types to make a judgement about the women on the app.

        Kamran it’s worth considering if your initial judgment of others is holding you back from getting married.

    • Mindful Berry says:

      I agree most profiles are all like that. I found a similar pattern in guys… gym and work!

      However we don’t marry people based on their creative writing skills, I think it’s worth the effort to start a conversation and ask about their passions and try to get under the hood and talk about things that make them click. Understandably requires more effort but then you realise every human has is actually quite deep and has a lot to offer! You just need to find it.

      If you just ask someone the general, how are you, how’s the weather down there type of questions, the conversation isn’t going to get far at all! I found this amazing list of questions that I think if you use you’ll have more meaningful connections with the girls and inShAllah they will help you find someone you like!

      Just google search: the 36 questions to fall in love. (I know it sounds corny but they’re great conversation pointers to help you find your wife/husband sooner!)

    • Iqs says:

      Don’t forget the cliche “foodie”. Yes that’s right a word that means someone who enjoys eating food. The women have absolutely no personality but expect a professional comedian with B/Hollywood heartthrob looks.

  6. Anum says:

    Also the comment about “taking pictures with kids” may seem like you have kids.. And what? So divorced people with children shouldn’t do this as they will not attract singles? This isn’t tinder it’s a Muslim match site!

    • Nasema says:

      My statement was in reference to divorced singles who don’t have children.

      If you have children you must disclose it to anyone considering you for marriage, there is nothing wrong with having children or creating blended families.

      I recommend you re- read the article.

    • Mazen says:

      She is just stating an ugly truth; people are shallow. Most Muslims in America are extremely superficial and more cultural than Muslim. So out here, to you have to lie about who you are to meet people. It’s just the way it is. I have a son and I don’t hide it but I also only seek women with kids…

  7. Mazen says:

    How can I become a lifestyle coach?

  8. Mauldin says:

    observed & captured

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