My two rupees of advice when finding someone online..

I’m a single Muslim in my 30’s. Me and my friends are actively looking for partners, while my friends have been far more proactive and open to the whole online world, me personally, never really felt it was for me.

So let’s forward a few months and my friends were still single and still are I might add. They came out of the whole online world with very bad experiences. So I thought I would actually see why is online so hard, why can’t we meet decent people online.

So I finally took the jump and started creating online profiles on various websites. But I quickly came to realise that for all those claimed success there are way too many failures on the part of the creators of the sites/apps.

It’s a contrived situation, we all know that. And it really doesn’t help when people just don’t know what they are really looking for! When you throw in the word marriage no one wants to make a mistake, and understandably so. Having said that, people do then begin to ummm and ahhh about potentials. Criteria of the moment seems to be occupation (doctors on top), looks, height, what do they drive, their salary.

“if you look for perfection, you’ll never be content” L. Tolstey

My best rejection was being turned down because I misspelled something in my opening email, missed a comma, apparently! Was the person just being odd, maybe trying to get a power trip!! “welcome to online” I said!

With the intention of keeping this short, I’ll get into the problems I found. Honestly the list is not as long as I thought it would be, which is a good thing I guess. First problem – I could openly speak to 10+ people in one go!! How will that help!!? One person maybe be funny, another charismatic…etc At best I’m wasting 9 peoples time, but who should I pick? Maybe toss a coin? Roll a dice?

Secondly, people who are not genuine because the membership is free, I could be anyone, and in fact, I was able to change my occupation and age on all the sites, who is to know? One person even tried to ask me for money because they were abroad apparently, lost their phone, passport, no money but still managed to message me! Crazy!

Thirdly people looking for fun, as many articles have said before this, there are many places out there than can help satisfy these indulgences if one chooses them.

Fourth, and probably the most important, everyone maybe behind screens, but they are still people at the end of day. Rudeness has no place on here; yes the person may not be what you are looking for. But it really is quite simple to wish them best of luck, honestly it is! Yes they may respond rudely, but do two wrongs ever make a right? I met someone who had given up on finding a muslim partner, because of how they had been treated on the sites, don’t break someone’s confidence, to boost your own. It’s a tough enough process.

My final thought Is to leave you with a question, especially for all those people who are online, marriage surely is a bond of love, everyone you love, do you look at their height, their salary, what they drive!?

Look for good people, good potential mothers, good potential fathers, good in terms of actions. A person is not defined by what they say, but surely by what they do. Life is finite, everything that has a beginning has an end, use it wisely and live happily, make others happy if you can, but don’t upset them.

Take care all, and thank you to all those who helped me understand this black hole of online matrimonial sites.

From a keen muzmatch user

 

The muzmatch app is the first to offer cutting edge features for Muslim’s looking to find their perfect marriage partner using their smartphones – however religious you are. The app has been built from the ground up with privacy, security and ease of use in mind – there is nothing like it out there! Say goodbye to expensive, dated matrimonial websites full of fake and inactive profiles. muzmatch is absolutely free for all Muslims worldwide and always will be!

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7 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    Alhamdulillah, someone finally spoke about the major ill of dating online. If you’re not in an excellent place in life then sorry you don’t deserve a chance to find a potential spouse. Thanks for this article. It was needed since I began thinking the same weeks ago. It goes for both men and women.

  2. Faisal says:

    Subhanallah, thank you for sharing

  3. S says:

    Thank you! Really good piece… Well written and oh so honest. G’luck!!

  4. Ms not ok says:

    Spot on

  5. Ali says:

    Thanks for a good and succinct article that wasn’t gender biased.

  6. z says:

    It’s very hard to know someone online as you say they could be anyone but what i find is some people tend to use online apps to waste time and have no intention of meeting.

  7. Naz says:

    Hey, completely agree. Following my experience on muzmatch I have decided not to bother with marriage.

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