Marriage – The Sunnah Way

So here it goes.. When I was planning on getting married I had in the bank a grand total of £300. The fee to get married (for the Imaam in ELM to do the nikaah) £100.. that leaves me with £200.
The dowry was agreed by my wife at £200 but the Imaam insisted on the day that I raise it to £500… so agreed (but it was to be paid at a later date).


I got married in ELM… which was attended by around 20 males and 15 women (friends and close relatives). After the Nikaah (which was done in the prayer hall) was done… All the women (mum nani sisters aunties went to Maaidah grill booked a cubicle and munched on a few platters)
All the (20) men went to my good friend
Shuaib Rahman house behind ELM.. where we all sat on the floor in his living room and ate curry and rice which was prepared by my good friend Abdul Wadud. After that we drink tea, had a laugh then went home around Asr time (nikaah was done after Zuhr salah).. The day was done… The next day I checked my bank balance still had £200… alhamdulilah
As broke as me and my wife was … alhamdulilah it didn’t matter at all… and what we have now… SubhaanAllah Only Allah has account of what he has given us since… I would tell you but I don’t want no hasad coming my way wink emoticon
I did not wear no fancy clothing, no turban no Aladin shoes… Just my black thobe..No hall was booked no limo was rented… I gave my wife no jewellery… Nothing. All I had was me (lol) and my small studio flat. Oh I forgot to mention I was jobless.. P.s My wife later waved the £500 dowry.
I feel sooo sorry our young Muslim brothers and sisters when I hear about their situation and the pressure their parents put them through. It a real tragedy in my view.
P.s This post is not a dig at those who spend Thousands on their weddings. IF you got it Alhamdulilah but if you ain’t I’m here to let you know you CAN have a special day without breaking the bank… Remember it is YOU and your wife’s special day.. If your happy then I promise you those who wish good for you will be happy even if you only fed them dry dates and milk at the feast.
The Messenger of Allah said: “The most blessed wedding (nikah) is the one with the least expenses.” (al-Bayhaqi)

Eftekar Saaleh

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17 Responses

  1. Bashir says:

    Mashallah a much better read than the last blog entry. Nice to hear some are trying to follow the sunnah, may Allah grant you and your baraka and rizk in your wedding. May your children be a force for good in Islam and help revive more sunnahs.

  2. Adam says:

    A great improvement on the last article which portrayed men in a very negative light. Maybe you could put together an article which warns men about women who:
    1) Just want your money
    2) Waste your time
    3) Play silly mind games
    4) Cheat with other men
    5) Lie continuously

  3. Hassan says:

    Mashallah!! A great article emphasizing the importance of getting married the simple way and the value to practicing the sunnah.

  4. Shamila says:

    That’s true…although I’m female I do find that a lot of women are being players aswel and it’s wrong to just make it like the men are just fooling around.

  5. Ali says:

    Yea, they need to put out an article on the women lol. During my search I’ve seen muslim women that are bigger two timers than men. Thats probably another reason why they’re continuing to be single later on in life – doctors or not. They just didn’t take it seriously in their 20s now they’ll battle the same issues that single accomplished white women have for years. Single in their 30s and 40s only having to “settle”. Let’s be honest, the cream of the crop doesn’t wait that long.

    The Muslim ummah in developed nations, no matter how accomplished or educated, will encounter the same issues that the non believers have. The issues involving infidelity, single longer than they’d like, etc….this isn’t because they’re highly educated…..it’s because they’re not serious when the time is right.

  6. Maryam says:

    Islam enforces equality and thanks for providing articles that stress issues on BOTH the male and female sides. Both articles are informative. It is up to BOTH men and women to realise their duties and marry quickly. Men were made guardians of women and should protect them first and foremost.

  7. Mike says:

    You tell that story in the office. You will be the hero. Lol
    But Mash’Allah may Allah give you two blessings save you from problems.

  8. Maryam says:

    Men and women both try to find a spouse but it is with Allah SWT will that it materialises. Allah SWT has already chosen your spouse and when the time is right it will happen only then. Stop judging your own sisters! They are someones daughter and cannot compromise their modesty by chasing after men. Men have the responsibility to commit and ask for their hand and take the steps necessary towards nikah. Women were made softer in their emotions and feelings and need strong male role models which I certainly do not see.

  9. AbdurRaheem says:

    May Allah grant you a spouse who is a strong role model and is upon the sunnah
    Ameen.

  10. Ms not ok says:

    Maryam I totally agree with you

  11. Khadija says:

    Assalamualykum

    Wonderful article…the sad reality is that you will find that in reality, rarely wants a marriage like this…I mean the app itself isn’t completely Islamic because your talking to one another without a wali present in the first instance anyway..the fact that the wali has emails to read of conversations….nah….the fact that no one wants to meet in the sunnah way wouldn’t anyone to really go through a sunnah marriage…everyone talks to several possibilities simulataneously too…I mean that’s like going to a supermarket and comparing products….im sorry mismatch but you need to address your app

    • admin says:

      We are open to your ideas – what changes would you like to see? FYI We are working on a major revamp of the app to help ensure that those using it have marriage in mind.

      • Khadija says:

        Jazakallah for replying

        i think its a MASSIVE improvement to what is available out there…i think the fact that once you have rejected someone after talking to them and you no longer can contact them is brilliant 🙂

        Some people just swipe ( from personal use) because of what they see. i appreciate that attraction is important but its not good for people who are not wanting to show the picture immediately ( i know there’s a blurred image but you know uploading any at all).

        To be honest, the Islamic aspect is to the individual users and not the app itself. you can only do so much and i apologise for sounding harsh.

        Im a divorcee with a child, and unfortunately many swipe and have used words “oh i never saw disclaimer”, referring to my child, which is hurtful and if i’m honest, lowered my confidence somewhat. Maybe make a different app for divorcees/ single parents 😛

        Good luck

        Some way to display information quite clearly would be nice to avoid such scenarios as most (in my opinion again) just accept without reading properly

        Thanks again

        • admin says:

          Great feedback – don’t worry – we assure you – you will LOVE the new version of muzmatch which is coming soon ia. The whole app is being redone top to bottom, with lots of changes as you have mentioned.

          Do bear with us!

        • Hassan says:

          Salam alaykum Khadijah, have u considered being a second wife? Am sorry to say this but it is really going to be hard for a divorcee with a child to get a single man. We live in a world that is not fair to women with children or a divorcee. There are lots of married men out there willing and ready to take women like you as a wife. I am a married man, am here on muzmatch with d concent of my wife to marry someone else, but it a pity most apps or Muslim dating sites are not for us. I think there is a need for an app that allows single mothers, widowed or divorcee to meet with people that are genuinely interested in marrying them. May Allah ease all our affairs. Am a always moved to tears when I see what lots of single mums and divorced ladies struggling. I have a sister that is divorced and another that is a single mum due to no fault of there’s.

  12. Khadija says:

    I was a second wife…its sad to say but il give you a warning not to go there…so no thanks…there are many men out there im afraid. i’d rather be alone then be a second wife. so no thanks

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