Ladies, let’s be real. You’ve searched every corner, stalked many a persons Facebook, and asked every auntie but still that tall dark handsome piece of ‘Mashallah’ is no where to be found. Why lord why, you ask yourself, do you make it so hard on me? All you want is Sidi Darcy to sweep you off your feet and live happily ever akhirah. But no. Your second cousin Atif is your destiny, and you better get used to the fact that you, him and his glorious unibrow will be happy together.
But… Just when you started believing no such Muslim man existed here comes Dr. Tariq Ramadan, with his silky smooth French accent, high class suave and trademark crossed leg seating position with the tip of his glasses in his mouth. Talking whilst skilfully weaving in and out of his English/French/Arabic accents charismatically pleeeeeading you to look closer at the Maqaasid of the Sharia, principles beyond culture and to use your heart when reading “ze zcriptural sourrrzzzesss”. So yes, you can be Muslim as well as debonair, charismatic and a well put together man.
BUT I KNOW WHAT YA’LL ARE THINKING. Whilst all of you are picking your jaws up from the floor I’m looking at ya’ll! You all got the same love struck look! Yet, you will never admit your secret scholar crush, just in case the ‘haram police’ come knocking with their ‘judgemental guns’ loaded with ‘condescending bullets’. But you don’t have to lie to me, if you’re thinking it I’m writing it. And you and your BFF know… You will catch each other’s eye and give each other that Mashallah look. Like this:
Meanwhile, the brothers in the audience are sitting thinking “Dang, we have no chance”.
Jokes aside. Let’s think about this a little deeper. There’s a lesson here for our Muslim brothers.
The debate concerning how Muslim women are not finding husbands has annoyed us long enough. Recently, a friend of mines Mother was continuously and desperately introducing my friend to who she thought were possible suitors. The reality was they were the opposite, resulting in an upset daughter hurt by the thought her Mother would EVEN THINK to match her only daughter to these plain, boring, underachieving men. This is the problem, the fact that Muslim women are forced to compromise their exceptionality, intellectuality and ambitions for men that don’t ultimately fit the bill. Most men, subconsciously or consciously, always subject women with grand expectations of being model looking domestic Goddesses and size eight wearing professionals while at the same time being able to cook you your bloody biryani. So shouldn’t women expect certain things too?
But thinking beyond projected stereotypes, let’s return to Sidi Darcy and why women find him so alluring. It’s not because he’s obviously good looking. There’s more to it than that. Sidi Darcy operates in a consuming, opulent and extravagant society that has shaped all of his idiosyncrasies. Despite this, his journey is a battle against his own nafs which he comes out victorious. It shows that there is an intrinsic depth to his soul, a yearning for more beyond the superficial and a character that, although may seem complete, is broken. His willingness to go against all institutional protocol and strive for something more meaningful are sentiments we all admire.
Is it so bad then, for women to expect men to be a little bit more like Dr. Ramadan and Sidi Darcy? Smart, suave and spiritual? Are there many men in our community willing to stand up against established deeply rooted ignorance and intolerance? That being said, let’s start investing in our internal and looking a bit less dishevelled and homeless and take our external seriously too, Usama Canon style.
So, man up. And, to put it bluntly, let’s get off our arses and be a bit, well…. awesome!
P.S Step One: Practise your French accent.
Source article: http://thehonestypolicy786.wordpress.com/2014/02/17/why-we-all-fancy-tariq-ramadan/