Many of us may have had the (mis?) fortune of going to a Muslim Marriage event. Such events take many forms. Speed “networking/dating”, the religious lectures which somehow lead to “organised mingling afterwards” or the conventional Marriage events which often have some form of group chat followed by individual chats with people interested in each other.
No one format is right. No one format works for everyone. Some people find such events a little forced. Some find the events “kill the romance” in trying to find the ONE, with everyone trudging along trying to spot their jewel amongst the fray. Some find it awkward talking to someone when their parents are hovering in the background. Some are amazed to keep seeing the same faces at many of the events.
One thing is for sure – the hosts put in alot of effort in organising many of these events and many of the people I have met have had sincere intentions to help the Ummah in the marriage arena. This is definitely to be applauded.
The below are just some of my thoughts and observations from talking to different people who attend such events, and just from observing people as I help out!
The seasoned pro
This is the guy who has been to loads of these before – the guy who comes looking sharp, scopes the room out and had a hitlist of who he wants to talk to and see. As efficient as a German automobile. Somehow he finds out about all the marriage events going on – even in those far reach places!
The flexible guy
This is the guy who is open to anyone and everything. He doesn’t have any requirements – hes not hung up on age, personality…in fact ANYTHING. Nothing bothers him. But that bothers the ladies.
This is the guy who is finding these events are beginning to hurt his wallet..and wants to see the participants before paying….so he hovers at the venue….waiting and watching….before deciding to stump up and buy a ticket.
The sincere guy
Yes – this is one of the good guys – the guys who have actually thought about what they want in a partner, and come to the event sincerely talking to people he feels meets that criteria. He’s even happy to talk to parents too!
The Original Rude Boy
The guy who forgets its a marriage event, and comes dressed like hes going to a rave. Including sovereign rings. Then demands a refund “coz this isnt wot I was after”. Yes. I’ve seen this for real.
The country guy
The guy who thinks he lives in the countryside with mamma and papa and goes fox hunting on the weekend. Comes complete with tweed on the night.
The undercover second wife guy
The guy who attends, and whose opening line to any potential is (genuinely) “will you be my second wife?”.
Now onto the ladies…
The fed up girls
You know who you are. Fed up at how useless men are. Fed up that Mr Perfect doesn’t exist. Fed up at being at these events. But will still be at the next one.
The first timers
This is their first marriage event. They are super keen and super diligent and are not yet immune to the smooth lyrics sometimes used by some of the gents.
The tired girls
These are the ladies who have been to so many events, that when someone interesting comes along, their conversation seems tired. Like they emit an aura of “I’d rather be home with a mug of hot chocolate watching telly than talking to you”. Even when the guy means well. They just don’t help themselves!
The super dolled up girls
Some forget that its a MUSLIM marriage event. And sometimes come wearing too much, or not enough. Awkwardness all round.
The checklist girls
They have a checklist as long as your arm of WHAT I WANT. If you don’t have it all, then don’t expect no nuptials anytime soon.
Finally lets not forget. The helpers. Who increasingly seem to be single themselves. How does that work????
I’m sure if you have been to any sort of marriage event, you’ll have met one or more of these characters. And I guess that what makes them interesting! But, my only advice, is to go with good intentions and genuinely make the effort to help yourself. And if you don’t see anyone you like, then try to help someone else too. This marriage game can be tough!
Inshallah muzmatch hopes to host our first ever Muslim Marriage Event exclusive to our members in the coming few months – we hope to make very different to whats already going on out there. So LIKE our site to find out more when we announce it!